Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

It’s only sixteen ninety-five,” I say with a flutter of my lashes.”You’re serious.”I prop my hands on my waist and stick out a hip, striking a pose worthy of a supermodel. “Look at me. Don’t...

I once inscribed the word “Ennui” backwards on my forehead, and I was so bored that I stared at it in the mirror for hours. And at the end of that time, I felt like...

I’m always hearing that everyone needs someone to love, but I just don’t think people are interchangeable like that.

Directing is creating a whole. You’re able to combine different elements and create a film that is unique and true to your vision.

I’m probably the last person on earth who will tell you I want to be the last person on earth.

Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent’s past, there’s leftover booze and contraceptives.

New York is not conductive to theater. New York does not encourage its young. It does not encourage experimentation.

She wasn’t much for words, but she told me she loved me in other ways, like showing me her main superpower—invisibility. I often wouldn’t see her for weeks straight, and for her to show me...

There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for.

I think basically an actor is a salesman.

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and...

Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.

Please, don’t put us through that torture.

There’s not a person alive who is ugly. Now dead people, they disgust me.

So just bust a move!

Malory! You’ve got a chipmunk on your pussy!

After this, I can’t resist. “Between you, me, and the rest of us, Ted, it’s starting to show. You’d better work out, or getting fat off Daddy might be harder to hide.

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal’d...

Oh, yeah. That’s what you need, another shot.

It’s funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they’re always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay...

I’m not really a writer, so my main problem always is finding the writing talent to write something of the caliber that you would like to do.

Kindness, motherfucker, kindness.

It was easier when all we wanted to do was eat them and take their stuff,” he grumbled.And it had been easier when he hadn’t cared if he made any of them cry.

I sure wasn’t going to ask Aunt Sally, because if she told me once that getting your period was like a moth becoming a butterfly, she’d probably say that sexual intercourse was like a deer...

I’m asleep.” You always were more romantic than me.

Remember, crowd doesn’t care about common sense.

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

I want to write a song based on my own childbirth. Of course, this is all a bit premature.

Jay lurched in one direction, jerked back, lurched in another, tripped for no reason. He finally made it through a gauntlet of invisible obstacles and crouched behind a water fountain shaped like a hippopotamous throwing...

Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!

After that came her biggie: a triple murder–her dealer, the dealer’s sister, and the dealer’s sister’s boyfriend.Reading that made me feel a little funny that we’d fucked and I’d loved her.

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn’t share with itself.

I’ve never looked ahead very much in my life. I’ve never had any grand plan from the outset. I had no burning ambition to do what I do.

This is what my high school life had become—a horror show of epic, mind-fuck proportions.

Don’t you think ‘Mark is kind of a weird name for a Shadowhunter?” Julian was saying as Emma approached. “I mean, if you really think about it. It’s confusing. ‘Put a Mark on me, Mark.

There’s no savior here. Especially not at 1:15 a.m.

The Prince of Hell shrugged. ‘Shit Happens

Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. “How much of that did you hear?””Enough to gather that we’re going to a...

Love dances in my heart like a nudist in socks. Boy, that jig is awfully jiggly.

… reading was hardly as practical a skill as being able to handle a dagger or use Allomancy?

eccentric.” Let this be a lesson in love.

After all, we paid great prices because of the virtual partitioning of Iraq.

I’d lick the water out of your bathtub, just to prove I love you—and that I’m not a cat.

There’s a couple of enemies to improv, and one of them is editing; when you edit on TV it makes it seem like it’s not really improv.

I’m like a sexually active bumper sticker. Canned vagina is always so hard to open and eat. Honk if you’re a lover—and in a hurry.

Or [take] the old cripple worried about choking on his vitamins or tripping if he tries to hobble over that wide crack in the sidewalk. He won’t be bound by mere experience – he renounces...

His loyalty has the consistency of a booger—sticky for a while, but easily flicked off. I’d probably love Prague in the spring.

Chase had looked at the apartment—online—talked to the real estate agent—online—obtained references—online.Now, standing in the hallway, it was obvious he’d gotten fucked—online.