All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.

I’m not a type-O … Don’t delete me.

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.

Use a condom. The world doesn’t need another you.

Nothing is as it seems, but something is everything it is made out to be.

If I had wanted children of my own, I would have gotten married. If I had wanted to get married, I would have fallen in love. If I had wanted to fall in love, I...

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can’t buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?

When people say they hate life, to what are they comparing it to? The alternative isn’t any more appealing.

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

I strive for perfection – I settle for satisfaction

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.

When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

If only yesterday could be my tomorrow then today wouldn’t even matter.

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must...

Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death.

I feel like I am either on the cusp of something great, or standing on the edge of my abyss, discovering something brand new, or uncovering somebody elses lost imagination.

This isn’t your world. It’s your parents. Your world is still out there, waiting to be discovered. Always remember that.

Often times, “shame” is the word that best describes reality.

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren’t any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are...

A sin is nothing more than regret. Not for doing it once, but doing it again when you know you’re going to regret it.

The last word of love is … goodbye.

Mary approaches her before she is able to reach her station. “Hello Lily. Get anything special for Christmas?””Just the usual.” She answers. “Shattered dreams.

Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you’re not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.

If they’re not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you.

Listen.” Jennifer reverted, “I didn’t mean anything by all of that before. I understand what you were trying to do and …” She struggled for the right words. “Sweetie, like love, people don’t live inside...

Love should feel like a hand sewn quilt made by grandma, wrapping you up on a cold winter morning.

Lily looks back down at the necklace in her hand that Kavita had given her. “It must have cost a fortune.” “It did.” He confirms. “Though not nearly as much as you’re worth.” Lily looks...

To which hand do I choose to strike with when both hands are guided by the same heart?

Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, ‘What the hell just happened?

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

I never fail. It’s just that the people around me succeed more than I.

The white lily stands for purity. Artists for centuries have pictured the angel Gabriel coming to the virgin Mary with a spray of lillies in his hand, to announce that she is to be the...

If you could sum up your life in one sentence, then you didn’t live much of a life.

There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place

He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke.

The thing I want to write most is the next thing I write.

I don’t know who he was,” Kavita flat-out states, “but whoever he was he sure did a number on you, didn’t he?”Mary leans forward to ensure he would see her deviant stare. “Did it ever...

Hope is believing in something that eludes you. It’s a desperate feeling in a desperate situation.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.

My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday.” “Ian,” Wesley noted, “that covers the whole week.” Ian nods his head. “Pretty much.

One should never give up on hope. Unless that’s the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.

You are the only one who can.

You know,” Kavita begins, “I think I can pick out my own furniture. I am an artist after all. I do have some taste.””No you don’t.” Nick plainly states. “No man has taste. Besides, I...

I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn’t believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.

Know who you are, and be it. Know what you want, and go out and get it!

Luck is the bastard child of Fate and Destiny.

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you’re the one getting slapped with the stick.

You can spend your life judging people or, you can spend it making friends. Take your pick.

I don’t like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them.

The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever.