Only cops and vampires have to have an invitation to enter.

Healey’s First Law Of Holes: When in one, stop digging.

Rhiannon’s Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.

Rhiannon’s Law #22. You can’t lie to yourself, so don’t bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years – that you...

Urban survival rule 22: Never annoy an armed man.

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Cheops’ Law: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Solomon’s Laws 1. When the law doesn’t work…work the law.

LAW 25Re-Create YourselfDo not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image...

LAW 46Never Appear Too PerfectAppearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display...

LAW 38Think As You Like But Behave Like OthersIf you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that...