Rhiannon’s Law #14: There is a reason the truth hurts. When you cease to feel the sting, it means you’ve stopped caring. And damn, wouldn’t that be a total fucking waste?

Rhiannon’s Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off.

Rhiannon’s Law #22. You can’t lie to yourself, so don’t bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years – that you...

Well, well, well. Tickle my Elmo ass silly. I was sitting across from a person who enjoyed talking to dead people, and if they wouldn’t talk, then by God, he’d just wake their corpses up...

I did before she died. Of course, my mouth was clean back then. It took years of trial and error to blossom into the fine outstanding young woman you see before you today.

The satisfying sound of bone giving way, as well as his outraged cry, made the you-had-it-coming-asshole angles sing.

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for that fine psychological assessment,” I snapped and motioned my chin to Disco. “Why don’t you and Oprah here go take a long walk off a short plank and do the...

Who needs immortal strength when you’ve got weapons of mass destruction?

If you were anyone else, your nuts would be taking a long vacation, and the destination would be out of your mouth