Epic fail, beautiful.

Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone.These younger demons. So easily discouraged.

A blanket could be shared with someone cold. And if you’re sharing your blanket, they might as well share the blame in getting pregnant. It’s not like they can blame me, because I was in...

Great,” Shane said. “Look i’d rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners.””And to cleaning,” Michael said.”Look who’s talking, Didn’t the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in...

Hayden?””Yes,Gia?””Nothing I just wanted to say your name

A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the amor.

And I think I’m underappreciated.

Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends

A blanket can be a meditation device. If the blanket is white, and you stare at it, you can blank out your mind and find peace within yourself.

I answered that I was sure, and he asked me again, and this time I understood his concern. ‘I’m not embarrassed!’ I said, or at least tried to say, before recalling that embarazada means something...

I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”-Janco and Ari bickering

If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.

And it’s really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

Isobel moved farther into the kitchen, not knowing whether to be relieved that her mother hadn’t had an atomic meltdown, or mortified that she’d taken it upon herself to play head chef with the nearest...

I always wear gloves, so at any moment I could commit a crime and not be worried about fingerprints. Plus, it saves on buying hand sanitizer.

Is Walt turning over in his grave? A man named Joe Roth runs Disney right now-he gave me the go-ahead and total freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.

I can be a gentleman off and on. When the urge hits me. – Tran

A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.

I don’t always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I’ll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.

Should I have brought my diploma?

A brick could be used to help America make money. Trust me, this is smarter than letting a central bank like the Federal Reserve make all the money.

There’s no way that you’re real,” she murmured to his crotch.

When I was growing up we didn’t have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!

A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar.

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you’ll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.

It’s delicious,’ he announces, chewing my sandwich. ‘I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.’ ‘I don’t know. I think it’s too cold for forever,’ I say, smiling.

A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either a full carton of half and half, or a half-full carton of whole...

You sure are a sweet girl, Scout. I’m half tempted to keep you.””Ummm… Thanks?” Knowing she was a potential Alpha I worried about what “keeping me” might entail. Probably chains. And whips. And maybe a...

Raffin appeared again, a floor above her, on the balconied passageway that ran past his workrooms. He leaned over the railing and called down to her. “Kat!””What is it?””You look lost . Have you forgotten...

A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely the instrument I utilized in showing her how much I loved her.

No, you clearly weren’t because my name isn’t ‘babe’. I bet you don’t even know my name. So, no, you cannot sit here, Nero.

No, little one, George’s ghost won’t come back. Human beings don’t have souls. No soul, no ghost. Simple.””How can you say that?” protested Mopple. “We don’t know whether humans have souls or not.””Every lamb knows...

A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.

Mr. Vey, you cannot be stuffed into a locker without your consent.” Dallstrom said, which may be the dumbest thing ever said in a school. “You should have resisted. That’s like blaming someone who was...

You can’t kill us all, human.’ He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. ‘True, but who’s going to be first in line?

Shit a brick.”

Agreed,” I say. “It’s going to be a long hour.””Maybe not that long,” says Peeta.” what was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me … no competition … best thing...

Are there any other missing persons living under your roof? Elvis? Jimmy Hoffa? Amelia Earhart? I’d just like full disclosure now, before we go any further.

Shut up,” I said.

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.

Then I say, “Let’s go and brush our teeth.” So Lola says, “But Charlie, I can’t brush my teeth because somebody is using my tooth.” “But who would use your toothbrush?” I ask. Lola says...

Maggie wasn’t without her concerns, though. “What if he’s crazy?””Yeah, that’s a definite possibility,” he agreed.”What if he’s not your type?””Then we’ll only hook up in dark places.

I used to dress up and impersonate our next-door neighbor, Miss Cox. She wore rubber boots, a wool hat, and her nose always dripped.

I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.

my problem is that my body acts before my brain thinks… it sometimes brings me huge trouble, or also huge success. recently, my body and brain got come to an agreement. it may be far...

I got an ‘A’ in Business Marketing in college!- as if that means a goddamn thing in the real world…

Everything has taken on a strange, distant quality – the sounds of running and shouting outside get warped and weird like they’re being filtered through water, and Alex looks miles away. I start to think...

This kind of mixing of ingredients happens all the time at fast-food places… You know when you order french fries and there’s a rogue onion ring at the bottom. You know, at first you’re alarmed...

You blew up half the town.

I toss and turn so much in my sleep that the very act of sleeping must be exhausting for me. Sleeping makes me want to sleep even more.