He hadn’t been this nervous since the last disastrous night at the improv, and he firmly told himself to calm down as he blotted at the tablecloth, glancing upwards to see Emma wriggling out of...

Some activities may look attractive, but you don’t have any business dating them, else they break you up. It may be good, but not right. Flee from good things and do right things!

Yeah, prom.”Shock was not a deep enough word to describe what I was feeling over this proposal. This was Jim, the kid who swore up and down he would rather gouge out his eyes with...

Nobody’s told me anything to date that I’ve been completely reviled by.

My hobbies include rubbing my nipples across a cheese grater, meeting cat ladies on Tinder, and voting for either Democrat or Republican every four years. You could say I am a torture enthusiast.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like “Second Tall Man”.

For you the guy should be the one who will look like the God among the guys.

I got stood up. I wasn’t mad, because at the time I was in a wheelchair.

Dating is like a game. If someone feels like they have won us over too easily, they won’t see our value and will go elsewhere to find something they have to work a little bit...

Chaos and destruction do tend to take away a person’s dating possibilities.

We miss out on meeting so many interesting individuals in our lives because we judge people by what society says is acceptable. “He’s not Handsome enough,She’s not Beautiful enough.”So we ignore them & pass them...

I remember the second time I took Agatha out. I wanted to go to Dairy Queen, and she wanted to go to Burger King. In the end we settled for wieners and clams at Johnny...

She ran into the bathroom and powdered her face and the front of her dress, drew a surrealistic version of a mouth beneath her nose, and dashed into her bedroom to find a coat.

Young man, the fact that she did not accept your proposal for a relationship does not define why you should hate her. She may not become your BRIDE, but she can be the BRIDGE you...

I talked to David yesterday, but since it is a statue, it didn’t talk back. I have to say, it was a better conversationalist than my last date.

It is a challenge to love someone who does not see the divine as you do, and much harder still to date someone who considers your spirituality a design flaw in an otherwise worthwhile human...

Don’t compete with your friends to win a date with few beautiful girls, but compete to win few beautiful goals.

I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on a date, provided she paid for dinner. And picked me up.

The best date I’ve ever been on was March 5th, 1982, the year I was born. For as long as I live, I’ll never forget that date.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

For our third date, Agatha said she wanted to pay separately. And I wouldn’t have readily agreed had I known she also meant she wanted to eat separately too.

It’s delicious,’ he announces, chewing my sandwich. ‘I would like to stay here forever and die with you in my arms.’ ‘I don’t know. I think it’s too cold for forever,’ I say, smiling.

Joshua se quedó asombrado. Pero no tan asombrado como yo por lo que acababa de decir. No hacía ni veinte horas que había plantado a Sven en el altar, ,y ya quería salir con un...

She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Monty Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date...

Lots of my writing can be accurately called lesbian, but I myself am queer and date people of all genders.

I stare across the table at Jeremy, and wonder if I will make it through our first date without trying to kill him.

I booked a table for two at a five-star restaurant. Rebecca couldn’t make it, because at the last minute I backed out of asking her.

You wanna-I dunno-get coffee or something sometime?”Justin smiled “Not coffee. But yes.””Not Coffee it is, then.””Yes, Not Coffee.

Sweep my dreams not beneath my feet. Be somewhere that my steps won’t meet. Breaking the broom isn’t a must. Don’t mistake unmoved dreams for dust

I absolutely did date Victoria Beckham, yes.

The vacancy in your heart doesn’t connotes that nobody is seeking for the job of servicing your feelings, but because the employee must first have all the necessary credentials needed for the job.

I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat’s litter box. Ah,...

This is one rule about mixing boys and girls: that a date always comes first.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. “How much of that did you hear?””Enough to gather that we’re going to a...

My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.

Dinner for two—plus one.

A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told...

now-person” and do it now!

Everything has expiry date but the time never expires.

For our first date we went Dutch. We would have gone another nationality, but they are the tallest.

Me and her, we’re both hiding who we really are. This is a common practice. It’s called dating.

Sanctions against polluters are feeble and out of date, and are rarely invoked.

He grinned. It was a wicked grin, the kind that made the blood in Clary’s veins run a little faster. “You want to go on a date?”Caught off guard, she stammered. “A wh-what?””A date,” Jace...

Love is bringing an empty Tupperware container on your date, not to hold leftovers from dinner, but just in case your date really has to shit.

Pops: How about you finish this sentence for me, Jason? When a girl says no she means…Justin, looking desperately at me: No?Nana: Are you sure?Justin, shifting uncomfortably: I’m sure. No means no.Nana: Well look at...

A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one.

How about 8:01?

Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth.

My asshole smells like burnt firewood, and I’ve got firemen calling me. But I won’t answer, because my answer is no, they can’t take me out on a date.