I went on a blind date last night. We watched a silent film. We stayed up all night talking in sign language. I fell asleep in the fetal position in her cat’s litter box. Ah,...

This is one rule about mixing boys and girls: that a date always comes first.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Simon turned to Jordan, who was lying down across the futon, his head propped against one of the woven throw pillows. “How much of that did you hear?””Enough to gather that we’re going to a...

My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.

Dinner for two—plus one.

A friend of mine told a story about a date with a guy she was really excited about: He stood her up. He then called her, begging her forgiveness and giving some excuse. She told...

now-person” and do it now!

Everything has expiry date but the time never expires.

For our first date we went Dutch. We would have gone another nationality, but they are the tallest.

Me and her, we’re both hiding who we really are. This is a common practice. It’s called dating.

Sanctions against polluters are feeble and out of date, and are rarely invoked.

He grinned. It was a wicked grin, the kind that made the blood in Clary’s veins run a little faster. “You want to go on a date?”Caught off guard, she stammered. “A wh-what?””A date,” Jace...

Love is bringing an empty Tupperware container on your date, not to hold leftovers from dinner, but just in case your date really has to shit.

Pops: How about you finish this sentence for me, Jason? When a girl says no she means…Justin, looking desperately at me: No?Nana: Are you sure?Justin, shifting uncomfortably: I’m sure. No means no.Nana: Well look at...

A squeegee is a sponge on a stick, and if there is a tangible item that’s more romantic, I don’t know what it is. Never go on a first date without one.

How about 8:01?

Flattery does not encourage the perfect flow of love in the vein of your relationship. Be genuine and speak out what you feel for each other without hiding the painful truth.

My asshole smells like burnt firewood, and I’ve got firemen calling me. But I won’t answer, because my answer is no, they can’t take me out on a date.

Actually, I came because I have a last-minute invitation. My friend Erika Gill is having a big party tomorrow night, one of those all-out birthday bashes that girls like. Want to go?”—————————————-“No. Sorry.””Since it’s a...

We born on date we ll die on date but not the same date or same day never.

I don’t date celebrities.

She invited me out to dinner, and I declined saying I’m not a fan of big groups. She said it would be just us two, and I said, Like I said, I’m not a fan...

If you’d rather not go with me, I will completely understand and won’t hate you for more than a day. Maybe two.

A circular table that spins around is a great way to make a romantic dinner for two with three people less awkward. I’ll pay for myself, I promise.

I never heard back from her after our first date, so either she’s dead, or she rejected me. I wonder where her funeral was held.

He won’t say no, but who cares if he does? Do it. Hell, guys go through this every time they make a move on a woman, and none of them has died yet. In many...

I went on a blind date—with a descendent of Helen Keller.

The most beautiful is to see the joy in your eyes.

Frankly though, bud, your criteria for what constitutes a good date is kinda skewed, if you ask me. Homemade cookies are overrated man — trust me on this. You can find a decent bakery just...

I had a dream about you, you invited me shopping and I was so excited at the thought we were having a “day date” after we entered the mall you had dropped your wallet and...

Let us embrace each other like we have the arms of two chairs. Let us dance like our legs are those of a table. We should do dinner sometime.

I don’t like to date so much as I just like to kind of, you know, run into somethin’, man.

Boy, the DMV has got to be the strangest dating agency. But I suppose love is worth the wait. If I don’t meet a woman here, there’s this new club called The Morgue I want...

WILL YOU BE BRINGING A DATE?””PROBABLY NOT.””OH COME ON,” Dora said. “I’M SURE THAT YOU MUST HAVE LOTS OF BOYFRIENDS– AND GIRLFRIENDS…”I nod my head no and explain that my sex life is complicated.”HOW SO?”...

I think I’m past my due date. I just feel it.

At the end of the first date, I got my courage up and I made a move. One U-Haul van and 1,500 miles later, I regretted my boldness.

I always wanted to know what it is right. Maybe we know each other from time immemorial, if you know that in you is the eternal energy of goodness, which is most important for you.

My first kiss I regret. My first date I regret. But I do not regret the choice to say I love you for the first time. Even though that was the melodramatic story. Even though...

Peace that is bought will reach its expiry even before the date printed on the flap.

For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were.

You know a relationship has deteriorated past the point of salvage when one person detests another’s gestures.

I’m young, Russian, I come from money, and I date a very well-known person.

Just like the way you date in relationship and become convinced before you give a partner your heart, you got to date your PASTOR to know he can be your MENTOR before you give him...

We’re screwed.

I went on a date last night and things went well. If you must know, I got lucky. I found a four-leaf clover.

I’m a serial monogamist. I’m not one of those people that can date loads of people at the same time, it’s all too complicated.

The blind date that has stood you up: your life.

Finding a stylist is a little like finding a date; you have to find who is right for you.

I’ve changed, and she’s changed, but we haven’t changed together. We were in separate dressing rooms the whole time we dated.