Jim said he believed it was spirits, but I says: no, spirits wouldn’t say “dern the dern fog”.

Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise.

A brick is a biographical film in which a young orphan brick from the wrong side of the track grows up to be one of the most important bricks in all brick kind, as it...

A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn’t know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary.

Pah! You don’t know us as well as you think.”This was a disturbing prospect.

Not to be judgmental, but one thing I frankly find offensive is people who stand on street corners shaking cups with coins in them. … I mean, hey, I have money too, but you don’t...

Owl love you forever

Neden adam onun kalbini yemiş?-Çünkü bazı erkekler canavardır.-Kadın neden onu seviyor?-Çünkü bazı kadınlar canavarlardan hoşlanır.-Ben de mi?-Bilmem. Sen de mi?-Ben normal canavarlardan hoşlanacağım-Büyük konuşma, seni de göreceğim.

You know, sex at seventy-six is getting very dangerous for my health … since I live at seventy-nine!

hurry up and wait.

Being dead wasn’t supposed to hurt. Where was the fairness in that? If I was dead, the least the universe could do was make it painless

I had a dream that I was in someone else’s shoes for once…they were the wrong size.

He laughed and was about to retort when she grabbed his collar and pulled him into her. She clamped her lips around his mouth and mashed her face into his. He took a step back...

Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy doesn’t have the same effect on me as it appears to have on you.-Raphael

Dave walked closer to me, his dark eyes combing my every move. “Do you always hold your guitar like that?”I dropped my pick. “Do you always shop at Hot Topic?

I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!

I have the feeling we just made a deal with the devil, and he’s going to come back and want our first-born child or something.”Daemon waggled his brows. “You want kids? Because you know, practice...

The following is a list of statements made many years ago by experts in their fields. At the time they were said they sounded intelligent. With the passing of time, they sound idiotic.

Look at what you’ve done,’ Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. ‘You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you.

I would never say snog. I would say osculate.” She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?””No, we’re going to find a way to let our...

I’ve had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

It’s a very small object to be capable of doing many wonderful things, don’t you think?””It does much more that that,” Valkyrie said, opening up a game and showing it to him.His eyes widened. “What...

Best friends one, and now we have almost nothing to say to each other. It was interesting, how he had joined those guys and I just stayed on my own. I didn’t like it or...

Harley-Davidson,” she said. “Sweet.

I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.

Aunt Elizabeth said, ‘Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?’ and I said, ‘Yes, when I am rich and famous.’ and Aunt Elizabeth said, ‘Yes, when the moon is made of...

Europe is scooters. Europe is five young people on one bench sharing a chocolate bar. Their idea of entertainment and fun is so much different than ours, which is exactly why a movie about them...

Yeah, I was thinking about taking one of those showers where you huddle in the corner fully clothed and cry,” Archer offered.

Don’t lick the guests, darling. Bad manners.

If flowers were boogers, I’d pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.

Webster said, ”Time them skeeters get done with that old man, his French blood will be all gone and he will speak American as good as we do.

Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn’t easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels.

They tend to come out a colour called ‘Pants left in wash’

Ever heard of the rule of three? he shouts as we run.No!If you save somebody’s life three times, their life belongs to you. You saved my life today, that makes once. Save it twice more...

I’m a damsel, I’m in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day!

I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can’t get to them.

I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore.

I’m friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I’m 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

I want to be strapped to a table, while a family of chickens argues over who gets to eat my legs.

Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

When it rains it pours and when it shines you get melanoma.

Great shoes by the way. Sexy as hell.

If secrecy is the beginning of tyranny, declassification is its apotheosis.

She held up her calloused, grimy fingers. Leo couldn’t help thinking there was nothing hotter than a girl who didn’t mind getting her hands dirty. But of course, that was just a general comment. Didn’t...

I cook. My favorite thing to make is love.

Secret 71910151. A story with legs usually involves legs with a story.

There are some things you just don’t say…not even in a school!