I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.

I know how he feels, missus.

I feel people desperately want a laugh and what I offer them is optimistic comedy. Unlike some comics, I don’t tell them what a rotten world it is. I say life is fabulous and wonderful...

I thought it would be a good idea to go into Politics, maybe I am a little old… but you know… I’d love to be Chancellor of the Exchequer – That way I’ll be united...

When asked if Ken believed in safe sex his answer came: ‘Of course I do; I have an Iron Bar around the bed!

If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute — I’ve got to have them.

He must have come to about six shows and even watched a couple of them, and I have to say the finished image is just how I want to be remembered. I want people to...