I’ve given her signs! I’ve given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face with my glove, and challenge him to pistols at dawn?

Truly,” remarked Nandi as we entered a darkened tunnel, “it is amazing that you have not died yet, mistress.” “Well, hang in there. The night is young.

Facts are much more malleable than prejudices.

Janice rolled her eyes. First, the doctor had ogled her, and now Karr was leering at her and licking his lips lasciviously.”Oh this is great. I’m being mentally undressed by a space pirate.

Think of it as an eight-dimensional onion.’ Justine straightened her back and gave her father an exasperated look. ‘Thanks, Dad. That’s helpful. I always think in those terms, it really helps a lot.

Let me ask you a question Alex. What do you think is the greatest evil on this plant today?””Is that including, or not including you?

I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL . . . BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK . . . . IT’S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS

You know,” Cecily said, “you really didn’t have to throw that man through the window.””He wasn’t a man,” Gabriel said, scowling. “He was an Unseelie Court faerie. One of the nasty ones.””Is that why you...

Where is your false, your treacherous, and cursed wife?””She’s gone forrard to the Police Office,” returns Mr Bucket. “You’ll see her there, my dear.””I would like to kiss her!” exclaims Mademoiselle Hortense, panting tigress-like. “You’d...

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there’s nothing more touching to a mother’s heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

Nefarious purposes translation: For disgusting demon sex and the birth of the Devil incarnate. Nice.

Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes.

There are a few things that even sarcasm can’t protect you from.

..her smile, which was her pretty feature, was never so pretty as when her sprightly phrase had a scratch lurking in it.

I admire all my three sons-in-law highly. Wickham, perhaps is my favourite; but I think I shall like your husband quite as well as Jane’s.

Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it tobe one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughingbut the forces that be—given that they are even a...

I don’t know. Is that good-different, or I-should-come-with-a-warning-label-different?

Buy Fable! the book that rejuvenates your soul! makes your belly belly-laugh! turns your cares to dust!…likewise your moods, woes an wounds!…turns everything rosy, deflates spleen and bile! pocondria! not just any old work! not...

As I grabbed my cocoa, chocolate ran down my hand.”This makes me feel like a five-year-old,” I said, licking it off.”If I ordered a sandwich at this place, do you think they’d cut the crusts...

Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.

It’s easy to make women happier and busier. How? Buy her a talking mirror beside bitching it has to be programmed to say, “You are looking very beautiful and slimmer,” at precisely every hour.

You mean you don’t want to come in and hold my hand while I piss?

She washed he hands,then looked at my side. “you haven’t even had it stitched?” She said incredulously.”I’ve been rather busy,” I said. “With the running like hell and hiding all night.

Thank you,” Ben replied, looking modest.

Oh, no, not the birds!

The speed felt tremendous. And the bottom of the ravine was treacherous. She ought to control her mount somehow – slow it; steer it to safer footing. Of course. And while she was at it,...

Esa es mi chica, dura cómo una bola de algodón

I don’t want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.

Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?Jace: I was following...

… As could the sarcasm in her voice. “yes, she’s bleeding to deat Lu upstairs, but i thought I’d avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.

I suppose that I found out two more constituents of the eternal engine: folly and curiosity.

It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both...

You’re just a huge romantic at heart, aren’t you?””If there’s cash involved, I’m anything you want me to be.

I am patriotic. When the Pledge of Allegiance is going on, I solemnly place my right hand over my genitals.

It just takes one serious thought to change a person, either to one he always wanted to be or into one he never wished to be.

I am disinclined to know you.

Knock him out, Paris!”Sure. Want me to spew diamonds from my ass while I’m at it?

I don’t know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.

If only there was enough space on this tiny card to evoke my unfettered joie de vivre for what you have done. The gaiety, the mirth, the heavenly bubbling of every effusive cell that sings...

Coincidences are like unicorns.you can believe in them all you want,but that doesn’t make them real

I’m good at being sarcastic with guys. They don’t want the quiet, prissy little things.

When you’re talking loud enough to wake the dead?” She swore she could feel steam coming out her ears.

By the way, if you get mad at your Mac laptop and wonder who designed this demonic device, notice the manufacturer’s icon on top: an apple with a bite out of it.

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry.

Rest assured you make perfectly good nonsense. I understand you one-hundred-percent not at all.

What do you do when you’re in a room of vampires and the most dangerous one tells you that youknow too much? You bolt. What did I do? I hyperventilated.

Ah, Proph.” Tom paused. “You did have a nightmare last night.””And here I thought maybe I dreamed it,” Prophet muttered sarcastically.

Sarcasm is a manifestation of anger, and anger can make you the puppet of your opponents.

You’ve read half the books in this house? This whole house?” “Well, approximately half.” Sticky said. “To be more accurate, I suppose I’ve read more like” – his eyes went up as he calculated –...

Excuse me if I feel skeptical,’ I said. ‘Coach’s foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?