Did I hear that right? Did someone say ice cream? It’s an odd thing to say in the middle of a eulogy, but hell yes, I could go for some ice cream. We could take...
I’m too busy to chew. That’s why I blend all my meals into smoothies, and I make love as slowly as ice cream melts in the Sahara.
Vanilla has become too genericized. It’s become standard, which is good. Vanilla is a household name. But the same standardization that’s made it so popular has taken the novelty out of it. Being the vanguard...
Sometime all you need is love … Oh wait! And ice cream, and chocolate to go along with it as nowadays love is anything but sweet.
On the frozen tundra, I milked a cow and pumped out ice cream. Strangely, it had chunks of strawberries in it.
I smell like cat snuggles and sex, though from two different activities. I have just perfected my meatloaf-flavored ice cream, if you want to grab a spork.
There were some problems only coffee and ice cream could fix.
Damn. That was stupid, wasn’t it? We nearly got killed over ice cream.
One scoop of ice cream can go a long way. Not to mending friendships, but it can get up to 40 yards in the air if you lob it just right.
I have sewn my own destruction, and it looks like a cat sweater. I knitted matching pants too, because that’s what lovers do. My feelings for you melted in the ice cream cone, and I’m...
I’m not even going to tell you what I think about what just happened in there. But I know it sucked and I have no idea why you aren’t crying right now, but I know...
Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream, nobody is too old for cartoons, bald men are sexy, chocolate is the best medicine, BIG books are better, cats secretly rule the planet, and everything should be...
My favorite salad dressing is vodka. And my favorite ice cream flavor is coffee, though I prefer it melted and hot enough to burn flesh.
I hope your only rocky road is chocolate.
Women eat ice-cream, men toast marshmallows.
Okay, if this is what falling in love feels like, someone please kill me now. (Not literally, overzealousreaders.) But it was all too much—too much emotion, too much happiness, too much longing, perhapstoo much ice...
If your arteries are good, eat more ice cream. If they are bad, drink more red wine. Proceed thusly.
A WATERY BLISSAs busy as an ice cream freezer,On a Sunday getting hotter,Happy is the honey eater-The busy ocean otter,Floating alongside Teter,On a sea full of water.
Darren played with the ice cream before raising a spoonful to his mouth. I watched him lick it before he wrapped his lips around the spoon, closing his eyelids and savoring the flavor on his...
I lick each envelope I mail, so I can taste the closure and anticipation of travel. If they tasted like ice cream, they’d match the love letters inside.
My kitchen sink has no truck attached. My love needs a waterproof suitcase in these Days of Desert and Dessert. Who are you going to come running to when the Ice Cream Man melts?
Mandy smiled cheerfully at an overweight kid in a gold sweater and pink skirt who was chasing her little brother around along the boardwalk. When she was that age, on sunny days she’d be out...
Half my body is sunburned, and the other half is melted like ice cream. But at least my love for her is still cold.
If I can’t suck your milkshake through a straw, it’s not a milkshake–it’s a glass of ice cream.
If you can be quiet, you’re more than welcome to stay in my House of Silence. Bring your own bubblegum ice cream.
Do you not like mayonnaise ice cream? What if the mayonnaise ice cream had mustard on top? I keep a hotdog in my pocket to highlight my enthusiasm for you.
Like magic, she felt him getting nearer, felt it like a pull in the pit of her stomach. It felt like hunger but deeper, heavier. Like the best kind of expectation. Ice cream expectation. Chocolate...
If your favorite politician got ran over by a bus, I’d express my condolences by telling you I know how you feel. Why just the other day I ran over a rat, and I felt...
Forget art. Put your trust in ice cream.
I melted in my defeat like Victory Ice Cream. I brought along an extra spoon for you, because I’m a sharing kind of guy.
I just made some ice cream soup—for winter, or the next time you visit Antarctica. It’s freezable and reheatable, like my love.
It’s harder to hate someone when they like the same ice cream as you.
I just made ice cream. Accidentally. I made regular cream, and then winter kicked in.
Eat Ice Cream. Read Books. Be Happy.
Abby wouldn’t want you to suffer because of some jerk that kidnapped her. She would want you to go on your trip so that she would have fun torturing you for not being a puddle...
My vanilla ice cream has chunks of vampire blood in it. Yum.
I had a dream about you. I was a melted ice-cream repairman, and you had a microwave for a head. You made fun of my trade, so I made you eat tinfoil until your head...
… everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward.
I had a dream about you. I licked your cone of ice cream. It was envelope flavored.
She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.
Evelyn stared into the empty ice cream carton and wondered where the smiling girl in the school pictures had gone.
is the culmination of all disasters!
The art of sensuality encompassing the exploration and experiencing of all our senses… Those images are being born from and through living the moments of eating favorite chocolate cake with ice-cream, tranquil meditating, walking the...
Microwavable ice cream is the future. Don’t wait for love to melt all over your crotch. Scoop some Ice Cream Soup today.
A radio in a song in an ice cream cone. Two licks for free, and the third is for sale. My favorite flavor tastes like a commercial, because it’s made with 100% natural advertisement.
Number of empty Ben & Jerry’s containers: 3 — two mint chocolate cookie, one plain vanilla. (Who buys plain vanilla ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s, anyway? Is there a greater waste?)
We should eat pizza ice cream together.” And that’s what love is. It’s this giant mound of pizza-flavored ice cream and delusion
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