Pick up a thing,” [Wizard Kadmeion’s]mother would say. “Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing in its proper place.

I love to talk about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.

When the person you love can’t see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind.

The results of decades of neurotransmitter-depletion studies point to one inescapable conclusion: low levels or serotonin, norepinephrine or dopamine do not cause depression. here is how the authors of the most complete meta-analysis of serotonin-depletion...

I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a lover, I’m a bring-my-own-umbrella kind of guy, because a soup bowl doesn’t offer enough space or protection.

In the land of Gibberish, the man who makes sense, the man who speaks clearly, clearly speaks nonsense.

Forget about lien about you behind your back and talking nonsense, some people can lie to you looking in your eyes…

I run a Falconi Four operation out of my garage. If you’re not familiar with Vegas, you wouldn’t know what it is (it originated in Reno during the Falconi Reno Reign of Terror).

My brother’s a big dog guy. He’s 7’2” and half man, half man’s best friend.

He offered to pay me in agriculture, and I said I didn’t want that, I want money. I told him agriculture won’t put food on my table.

Nonsense remains nonsense, even when talked by world-famous scientists.

in nonsense is strength

If I propose to myself and myself says yes, I get to have the cake, right? I love me, so I’m thinking 12 tiers.

Consider the possibility that many of the things you hear and say are utter nonsense and meaningless repetitions of noise.

My love is like hooray! Special terms and conditions may apply. See dealer for details. Coupon not valid with any other offer.

His name is Arnold. But you’re not on a first name basis with him, and that’s not his first name. So that’s Mr. Arnold to you. Once you get to know him, he may let...

Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush.

Your book is nonsense.

I am the Zam Maz of love. Or at least I will be, once 572w167e74zx2.

The girl who did my oil change was so sexy that after she was done, I drove nonstop 2500 miles one way, just so I could immediately turn around and drive back with a reason...

This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and shows how my thinking has changed. It shows me telling a story through...

Garbage in, garbage out. Or rather more felicitously: the tree of nonsense is watered with error, and from its branches swing the pumpkins of disaster.

I will meet you in the next three days. In the name of God Almighty, I proclaim the end of the world in this century. All the world will be destroyed, every human being will...

Flammflorbs, archypodsplays, clinker crabs, dorsaldorydabbs, mingslakks, linglimes, occocobbers, firgengobblers, smitesnides, orkusta shelled bunkbarnacles, balootabinks, jorgentua jellyfish, tungol widders, teleosti chimaras, and things stranger, yet to be named, Klubbe and his crew members observed through their...

…It’s like trying to fit an octopus into a pair of tuxedo pants. And not a plain octopus at that, but an octopus that doesn’t even exist.

It’s the same with cell phones. I never answer them up to my ear. I always put it on speakerphone and hold it six to eight inches away from my brain. Here’s an example of...

I prefer kissing over dinner. Not that I prefer kissing to dinner, but I prefer kissing over the plate containing my dinner, especially if my dinner consists of something romantic like monkey brains.

Falling in love too quickly spells disaster. But I’ve always lived dangerously, and I spell disaster with a Z.

I always wear my seat belt when I drive a point home.

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don’t believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines.

I’d like to wade through all the people named Wade in this city, and personally call all of them to congratulate them on their fabulous name.

As a balloon expands, so too does my love for you with each passing day. To know how I truly feel about you, look no further than the balloon giraffe.

Otulissa swelled up to twice her normal size. ‘Well, SPRINK ON YOUR SPRONK!

Oh! I killed Bunbury this afternoon… I mean poor Bunbury died this afternoon.What did he die of?Bunbury? Oh, he was exploded!

You can’t fight hatred with hatred and expect anyone to listen to you. You can only try to lessen it with humor, wit, truth and commonsense. If that doesn’t work run like hell, while they...

What I’d like to read is a scientific review, by a scientific psychologist–if any exists–of ‘A Scientific Man and the Bible’. By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How...

I’m wearing my End of the Dance Underwear. They’re soggy. It seems these days everything is saturated with my love for you.

I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.

I moved my hand in and out of the shadow and pondered life and death. Then I put on my lipstick, pulled up my pants, and got back to work.

I rolled up to his house, rolled up my sleeves, ate a Fruit Roll-Up, and left. Ah, but that’s life, no?

Combat” McCloud. Fear my thunder! Love my chicken tenders.

…you’d be amazed at the grand tales the human brain will throw up to make sense of something nonsensical.

They climbed the wide stairways. Their footsteps echoed and echoed through the house. “What on earth will you be doing with something so large?” said Mum.”I shall live in it with my servants, of course,”...

Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.”I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t take more.””You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s...

That’s nonsense. The association never sets prices – the big mills do based on costs and supply and demand. It’s already market oriented.

I do not think that G. H. Hardy was talking nonsense when he insisted that the mathematician was discovering rather than creating… The world for me is a necessary system, and in the degree to...

I keep a fish in each pocket, and one in my left shoe, so I don’t drown in your love.

Apple juice looks so much like urine that the only way to tell them apart is to remember that I keep my pee in the fridge, and the apple juice in the toilet. Help yourself...

Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we’ll do it because it’s brilliant nonsense.

Jack and Hilda went up the hill to fetch a mountain of valley.