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Coupon  Quotes
My love is like hooray! Special terms and conditions may apply. See dealer for details. Coupon not valid with any other offer.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCouponDealer
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My wife died of someone trying to help her. He helped her find her way off a bridge and into a chained and locked metal trunk. Then he had the audacity to not accept a...

—Jarod Kintz

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Contract-KillerCouponDeath
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I’m not a ref, but I assigned her the penalty of clipping, and I told her to drop the scissors and step away from the newspaper ads.

—Jarod Kintz

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ClippingCouponCoupons
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I had a dream about you. We almost made love in the produce section of your local grocery store, but when I asked if you brought protection, you told me you’d forgotten the coupons at...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCouponCoupons
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I opened my wallet and gave him a coupon, hoping he’d open his wallet and give me money.

—Jarod Kintz

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CouponHumorMoney
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