You’re a brave, brave girl, Tula” Gaby told her.”I know”, said the little girl. “I got it from you.

I had a dream about you. I was a sleeping bag salesman, and you sold insomnia. I tried talking you into selling sex instead, because that way we could sell combo packages. But you said...

He greeted me in his usual attire – pajama pants. “Hey stranger!” he said, hugging me for a few long seconds. “I’ve already set up the board. Can I get you some rose”I nodded, overwhelmingly...

In my pants is where you need to look to find out everything you want to know about love. I got the magic formula from your grandma.

I had a dream I was in an old woman’s closet peeing on a giant shoe. Sorry grandma I thought it was the bathroom. I hate vacations where someone carries you out of the car...

With my grandma, every Sunday after church.

To all those who care, You can’t forever. Time steals the years,And your reflection in the mirror.But I can still see the story in your eyes, And your timeless passion that’s never died.While your skin...

I always get whiplash when I have sex in the backseat. Boy, I sure wish Grandmother would learn how to drive.

When I was suddenly thrust into what everyone calls menopause (Orchids) earlier than my body planned, I decided someone needed to take charge on so many levels. It was time to not only change the...

I can Grandma like nobody’s business. Hey, mind your own, grandpa, before I go all Uncle Sam on your ass.

I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma were in the front seats.

The Everlasting Staircase”Jeffrey McDanielWhen the call came, saying twenty-four hours to live,my first thought was: can’t she postpone her exitfrom this planet for a week? I’ve got places to do,people to be. Then grief hit...

When I turn thirty, in thirty days or so, I might be feeling old, so I’ll probably call my grandma up, because as old as I’ll feel, she’ll be feeling older. Twelve years older.

Your washing machine is my bathtub. Every time I see you my heart spins with desire. YA by nosit’ Moskvu shtany dlya vas, kak drozh’ babushki. (I’d wear Moscow as pants for you, like a...

I’m such a grandma. I don’t tweet; I don’t have a Facebook page.

I had a dream about you. We were running on the beach, holding hands. It was a nude beach, but we were the only ones wearing clothes. You wore a bikini, and I wore my...

A fridge will keep your steaks fresh, but keeping a live cow in grandmother’s room will keep the meat fresher. Let this be a lesson in love.

The groove is so mysterious. We’re born with it and we lose it and the world seems to split apart before our eyes into stupid and cool. When we get it back, the world unifies...

I want to bill Billings one penny at a time.” He died with five cents to his name. I was named after him—fifty years after him.

I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a bottle of booze isn’t entirely clear to me.

It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

There are lots of superheroes with different superpowers, and some of them are big and flashy, like super strength and super speed, and molecular restructuring, and force fields. But these abilities are really not so...

I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d probably give her right ear for a left ear that wasn’t soundproof).

I went to visit my grandma. I meant to stay for two days, but ended up staying two months. (So I overslept a little).

As grandma said, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other.

I think I just inhaled a cloud shaped like the ghost of my grandpa, and all I have to say is grandma smelled better.

I want to remember…Smelling your newness upon this earth. The baby-Jesus smell as Grandma used to put it. Pure. Unsullied. Like the imagined smell in the twirling air of eiderdown feathers spin-floating around the yard...

Nobody wants to leave what they know to go either to the unknown, or to grandmother’s house.

In the absence of a cat, I’d consider cuddling with a synthetic fur coat. Especially if your dead grandma was wearing it.

Nukuu ya mwandishi wa vitabu wa Brazili, Paulo Coelho, “Tunapopenda tunajitahidi siku zote kuwa wazuri zaidi kuliko jinsi sisi wenyewe tulivyo. Tunapojitahidi kuwa wazuri zaidi kuliko jinsi sisi wenyewe tulivyo, kila kitu katika maisha yetu...

I had a dream about you. I was at your family reunion, and your grandma was chugging the hunch punch with all the confidence of a mature woman in diapers. I was on Wheelchair Patrol,...

My grandmother got approved right before the law changed, so naturally she got grandfathered in. In related news, but completely unrelated, I was adopted.