We so need to work on your definition of relaxing.

The demon was turning out to be an unpredictable, feral, bone-and-head-collecting, sexually ravenous happiness battery. She swallowed. All I have to do is plug him in.

Wisdom of the Ages: “Government” Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.

Now, tomorrow Miss Laurie McCrae and me, we have an appointment with a sky pilot who will make it proper for us to travel in double harness.

Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away…Like a cookie for the soul…

Anything can happen in Hollywood, even good things.

Prestidigitation? You’ve got to be joking. No one says that.

Lena was going down the list of John’s attributes in her mind, a list I was hoping wasn’t too long. “He could see and hear and smell things I couldn’t.”Link inhaled deeply, then coughed. “Dude,...

whatever you are be a good one

Everyone was going crazy, like they’d just witnessed the birth of Jesus and the invention of electricity at the same time. Jude was a rock star, their savior, and they were paying him homage.

One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.

You know what we have to do?”The Italian nodded. “I know.””You don’t look too happy about it.””Defacing a beautiful building is a crime.””But killing people is not?” Dee asked.”Well, people can always be replaced.

One doesn’t have a sense of humor. It has you.

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the...

I laugh. Yer crazy, I says.I was fine till I met you, he says.

A vine from one tree shot out, tripping Blaise. He and Merewyn rolled to the ground. Varian stood between them and the trees, which shot blast after blast at him. He deflected them, but even...

Three eggs two slices of toast a cup of coffee an episode of Mr. Ed. A Violin and a bowl of fruit what else does a man need?

I am grateful for hands to tickle with. Not so grateful for that process in reverse, however.

Jewish vampires: Garlic? As a weapon? No its a spice silly human

The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo… -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They’re like, ‘Who is this guy?’ And I’m like, ‘the end of your industry.

Do you follow the wrestling? Most people think it’s illegal, but you can watch it there. Ruby and Python are on display this evening.

The streak of bleach in my hair is as obvious as ever. Am I really going out in public like this? I push my hair backward and forward a few times – but I can’t...

He’s dead?’ Vera asked. ‘He’s dead? Johnny’s dead?’He covered the mouthpiece. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Not dead.”Not dead! Not dead!’ she cried, and fell on her knees in the phone nook with an audible thud. ‘O...

It’s more like how some people can’t help but bring out the not necessarily righteous parts of your personality. Like how you meet someone and instantly know they’re a full-time professional victim, and no matter...

You pay for him, too,” he yelled at the men, seething in anger.

…clearly, we’re supposed to be together. If this were the internet, seventeen-year-old girls would be writing slash fiction about us as we speak.

I’m going to go throw up now, because ive turned into my dad. If vomiting doesn’t work, I’ll see if I can get an exorcism.

Now, invite me in, before I lose my temperature.’‘Temper, you mean.’‘No, temperature. It’s getting chilly.

Don’t be afraid of failures it takes courage to try new things & only those who try create History.

But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing.

It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

But…was he flirting?Hmm.Not sure what I thought of that. A nice office flirt did make the day go faster, but Adam was my boss, not to mention an annoying one, and I was nothing if...

There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don’t exist in Asia.

You gotta want it.

phase two of Operation Fish and CHIPs (Clean House of the Idiot Piranhas)

My face might be a martyrdom, but what would that import, or who should know it, if I smiled?”And she did smile; manifestly freezing the blood of Mr. George Sampson by so doing. For that...

Trust me. You’re a constant riddle with an ever-changing solution.” ~ FBI Special Agent Clive Poole to Maggie Mae Castro

From my novel, “A Twist in Travel:Fate,” “What, you’ve never seen a grown man naked?!

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said “Anybody got an aspiren? I think I’ve got a cold.”

My boyfriend dumped me. My best friend won’t talk to me. My future is in a garbage can. Everything has turned to crap. Can you please just let me be a sullen teenager. just this...

McG: 11:39 PM: Tease. A: Bushy prehistoric looking veggies frighten me.Lilliana: 11:41 PM: WTH are we talking about here? McG: 11:42 PM: Fucking auto correct. VAGINAS! Bushy vaginas put the fear of God in me....

I prefer canine-American,” said Total.

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we were headed...

It’s easy to have high morals when you’d be safe naked in the middle of San Quentin Prison.

Corrival looked around. ‘So is this it? Is everyone here? Erskine, maybe you should start the ball rolling. I have places to go and things to do.”Me?’ Ravel asked. ‘Why do I have to start...

He may wear what he likes in the future, for I shall never drive with him again. His conduct was shocking. When we passed Highgate Archway, he tried to pass everything and everybody. He shouted...

The problem with at-home IQ tests is that too many people wouldn’t understand the results. Calling customer service is a bad sign.

I don’t use big words to show off because it’s ostentatious.