SWAT? For me?” Still trembling, one hand clung to the ambulance gurney, the other held a massive sterilised cotton wool wad under my nose.”Tactical Support was busy. You got Dennis and Arlo,” said Harry, speed-reading...

A brick could be used as a device to deliver bad news. Sometimes it’s better to be blunt.

Furthermore–though it was quite irrelevant now–he had no idea his killer, Kazuo Kiriyama, had, in his mansion that was much larger than Toshinori’s home in Shiroiwa-cho, mastered the violin at a level far superior to...

The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.

And they certainly wouldn’t take you along to a murder. That would be irresponsible parenting.

A blanket is a coffin, if the cops are after you and you have to dump a body quick.

I can hardly be expected to think like Santa. I get three times the letters, I poop burritos, and my penis is two reindeers more plentiful.

I had to say it gave me a warm feeling to picture Meredith Winslow spending twenty years or so in an ill fitting orange jumpsuit, cozying up to a great big girl named Beulah

A brick is like fruitcake. You don’t want to use it up all at once, and in fact, you don’t want to use it up at all. Well, if you won’t use it, then give...

Why write about the past? Well, there’s more of it.

Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said

Be a Samurai.Because you just never know what’s behind the freaking sky.

A blanket could be used to fill in the blank.

Get me outa here. F*ckin’ creepy cheerleaders.

A brick could be used to instill patience in a pupil. Not a pupil as in part of an iris, but a pupil as in student. Seems a bit silly to try to teach eyes...

You think that killing people will make them like you more, but it doesn’t,it just makes them dead.

A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.

I’m sorry to hear that.

A thief is one who insists on sharing his victimhood.

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward.

A blanket could be used to stimulate the topographical terrain of a mountainous region. Kind of makes you feel like God, if you think about it.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip.

It’s horribly cute.” He kissed me, looked at the hat, and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat.

I saw a nipple and I got an erection. It was a man’s nipple, and I was standing alone in front of a mirror.

I’ll drive like my grandma. I’ll drive like your grandma.””You wouldn’t say that if you knew my gramma.

I think it’s one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there’s so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.

Yo Mama’s so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.

When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my clones for all the work they do for me. Then I think, nah, they’re only slaves....

I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What’s it spell? HEAD FUCK.- Jane

If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.

It’s a black and white issue: gray is grey, and there’s no two ways about it.

I don’t know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain’t even never been to a wedding.

The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to...

Don’t plead with anyone if you were not at fault, you’ll only look inferior, stupid and funny, bolster your ego by doing the undoing.

New streets should be Twitter friendly and be named with hashtags up front. I’d build a house on ‪#‎LoversLane‬.

A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick.

I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today,...

Mr. Right is coming, but he’s in Africa and he’s walking.

I wouldn’t say I’m superficial, just averagely ficial.

I’m kidding, you idiot. Let’s go.

I may not be a witch, but I will knock her right off that broomstick if she keeps this up.

A hundred people is rather a large handful for the four of us to take on,” Malcolm pointed out. “Do you have any ideas about how we’re going to handle that task?””Simple,” Halt told him....

I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it.

I’m not leaving, Kitten. You’re going to do this.”My mouth opened as did the door behind us. Stomach dropping, I turned to see Mom standing there in all her fuzzy-bunny pajama glory. Oh, for the...

His name was Tom Tombstone, and if he had a middle name it was probably Death. But I didn’t call him Tom, or even Mr. Tombstone, because he introduced himself as Robert Winston. And I...

—,Acabas de… lavar un plato? —Dee retrocedió lentamente, parpadeando. Miró a Daemon—. El mundo se va a terminar. Y sigo siendo vir…—¡No! —gritaron los hermanos al unísono. Daemon parecía que en realidad iba a vomitar.—Jesús,...