It wasn’t love at first sight. They ran into each other one morning in a sunny clearing in the forest. A few moments of stunned silence. `Glockenspiel,’ Adam pronounced, thinking (but with terrible doubt) he’d...

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn’t be done.

When I said I didn’t have a cent, I didn’t. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.

Minutes passed by. A little blue butterfly landed on my nose. I blinked at it and it fluttered to my ear. A big yellow butterfly gently floated over and landed on my paw. Soon a...

We have an active program. We have nuclear weapons, we are a nuclear power. We have an advanced missiles program.

I personally believe we were put her to build and not to destroy.

All these old guys, they were exactly the same on stage as off, and they couldn’t help being comedians.

If you think rightly, every problem is financial problem or eventually becomes one.

We found it!” Charlotte yelled, as they ran back through the house. “We found it, we found it!”Eddie, Mr. Mallery, and Colonel Andrews came from separate directions, converging in the front hall. Miss Charming was...

We saw Uncle Jack every Christmas, and every Christmas he yelled across the street for Miss Maudie to come marry him. Miss Mauide would yell back, “Call a little louder, Jack Finch, and they’ll hear...

He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.

Not one word,” Kel warned. “Tobe and I have reached an understanding.” Neal’s lips twitched. “Why do I feel you did most of the understanding.

The list of who’s the best is only one person long. My penis is only one person long too, if that person is two-inches tall.

I think a cool band name would be War Dwarf. Of course, I’m entirely too tall and peaceful to be a member. Not to mention nonmusical.

Sometimes you feel in control, and it’s great, but sometimes you just don’t feel in control and you really have to struggle to get laughs.

I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thyeyes—and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.

A monster’s not a monster to another monster. At least that’s what I thought when I saw my mother-in-law talking to a statue of Stalin.

I just know.”-Luke and Clary, pg.209-

Holy broken nose, Batman!

Love is a trampoline of the heart. It has its up, it has its downs, and I’m selling mine for $100.00—only been jumped on once.

What’s so funny?””-Sorry,” David said, reddening again. “You just taste so sweet.””-What do you mean, sweet?”He licked his bottom lip one more time.”-You taste like honey.””-Honey?””-Yeah, I thought I was going nuts the day…well, you...

(About sweeping)….What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends.

You’re late.” I stopped, my jaw open and slack, because I knew she was right. I was late—but for what? I was late for love.

How’s that a duel?””He who can still sing after the most drinks is winner. Plus, soon’ everyone is so drunk that they forget what argument was about.”Teft laughed. “Beats knives at dawn, I suppose.

It makes you more open, it gives you perspective, having a child.

A bear trap eats, but does not drink. My love, however, drinks, but does not eat.

We have in the last two years, we have passed 350 legislation in the parliament, most of which deal with democratization, human rights, and of course, economy.

Prayers For Rain’ begins like practically every Cure song, with an introduction that’s longer than most Bo Diddley singles. Never mind the omnipresent chill, why does Robert Smith write such interminable intros? I can put...

My car would look better with a mustache for a bumper. Then pedestrians would know that I am a superior lover, just before I hit on them.

Yeah, it’s a kodak moment. Quick, take a picture.Sarah scoffs. I stick my tongue out at her.

I just yawned. Now that is exciting. Almost as thrilling as making love to me thirty minutes after I’ve fallen asleep.

It’s just amazing how long this country has been going to hell without ever having got there.

We spent the whole evening conversing like I was mute and she was deaf. I didn’t talk and she didn’t listen, and that’s what made me think we might be in love.

He executed his commission with great promptitude and dispatch, only calling at one public-house for half a minute, and even that might be said to be in his way, for he went in at one...

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.

Got plans for the rest of the day?”I looked back at him and my heart just stopped. Then it just started again thudding erratically. What the hell does that mean? I feel like I’m having...

Great minds think alike-especially when they are female.

The coffee’s done? I LOVE IT WHEN THE COFFEE’S DONE!

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn’t have sex quite so often.

The Brit’s face shares a heritage with a junkyard butt-sniffing mutt. It’s a hard-earned moonshine mug, dotted with a hairy mole that looks like a rat’s been gnawing on it. His beard looks like a...

She didn’t care that people called her a bitch. ‘It’s just another word for feminist,’ she told me with pride.

Is there any good news?’ Tesla said.Who ever promised that? Who ever said there’d be good news?

I said I’d drive to her place. But she lives in her car, so I don’t see why she couldn’t just drive her place to my place.

She was teaching Lilykit and Seedkit how to reach under the wall of the warriors’ den and catch stray tails yesterday.

Barzûl!

Don’t look now, but that’s my ex over there.”Surely I’m not the only one who takes “don’t look now” as “there’s no better time than now.” I looked.”Bad, Ali!” Another slap to my arm. “Bad,...

Fanya kazi kwa bidii na maarifa!

A brick could be used to replace the brother you never had. Well, it’s only a possibility, but you probably won’t like it, because as soon as your parents gain another child, you’ll quickly find...

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.

A blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night’s sleep.