I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches...

All things old become new again. In my youth the athletes had crew cuts and the hippies had long hair. Now the athletes have long hair and the hippies are bald.

Like a statue, I’m hairless. Also like a statue, I have hair. Let’s make love like a dandelion goes bald in the breeze.

I’m still bald, I just wear a toupee.

If my skull were made of glass, I wouldn’t want you to see my thoughts, so I’d fear going bald.

Have you noticed how most directors are either bald or grey-haired?

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.

I was the first face you saw when you were born, you were bald as my hair ran black. Now yours the last face I saw before I died, your hair ran black, as I...

Women love a self-confident bald man.

The two squirrels quarreled like lovers, and it moved me so much I made both into one toupee. I’m not bald, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wear it. I’m a romantic.

Anyone who looks good with a bald head is seriously sexy.

I had this dream about you last night. We were still married. I was giving you a haircut, like I always did, being careful to trim around the scar on the back of your head....

Never mind. But think up a different filling next time. And not cheese and tomato.” He shook his head and made up the roll.

I collect hats. That’s what you do when you’re bald.

In ‘Delhi Belly,’ I was bald; in other movies I always carried a different look.