Let come the forces of night! We will stand!” “We will get the hell out of here is what we will do,” I muttered.

Rumo!” said Rumo. “That’s right!” Smyke exclaimed. “You Rumo, me Smyke.” “You Rumo, me Smyke.” Rumo repeated eagerly. “No, no.” Smyke chuckled.

It doesn’t matter what your boss thinks as long as he doesn’t cry.

What a schmuck!

Scrawny? Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.

Rayna found a makeover show on TV-one of those where they sneak up on unsuspecting people going about their business, accost them with camera, and tell them they look like crap in front of a...

Don’t come closer to me at any time without make-up. I may slap and make you feel the taste of death.

No funny business. I’ll scream and dead or not it will hurt your ears

Vampires didn’t faint like Southern belles at the sight of blood.

The reason for the unreason with which you treat my reason , so weakens my reason that with reason I complain of your beauty.

I think it’s because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that’s real.

Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.

Okay. That’s freaky. Lookit, Gollum, if you spring me, I’ll help you find your Precious.

Sam gave Captain Suicide a droll stare. “How did you die again? Oh wait, I know this. ‘I can take ’em. I don’t need to wait for reinforcements. I can do it myself.’ How’d that...

A blanket could be hung on your living room wall, and watched instead of nightly news. Not only would it be more honest, but it also would be more entertaining and thought provoking.

Marcus couldn’t believe it. Dead. A dead duck. OK, he’d been trying to hit it on the head with a piece of sandwich, but he tried to do all sorts of things, and none of...

Stupid male ego.

It’s hard to wear a Speedo and pose with an erection. Still, I’ve got to try, every Saturday from 9 am to 8:59 pm.

Wisdom of the Ages: “National Symbol” With the preponderance of lawyers, banksters, arms, drug and tobacco dealers in our government, shouldn’t our national symbol be changed from the eagle to the vulture?

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

Iggy. This is not a democracy,” I said,(…)”It’sa Maxocracy.

Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru’s cut. That is if it isn’t a problem.Hatori Sohma: No problem. I’ll stop by the...

A horse blanket, Mel?I remembered what I was wearing. ‘It tore in half when Hrani tried washing it. She was going to mend it. This piece was too small for a horse, but it was...

I’ll tear down the wall between us—and tear down the walls of your life.” Then you might try offering him a cheese sandwich.

I feel a strange sensation brewing inside of me. It tickles my throat and forces my lips into a grin. Before I can stifle it, I giggle. And then I laugh.

First rule of thievery,’ Eli said, grinning, ‘only run if you’re not coming back.’ (…) ‘First rule of thievery, never use the same entrance twice.’ Miranda rolled her eyes. ‘How many ‘first rules’ of thievery...

A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick.

I used to wonder why I had hair on my legs, but now I know it’s for my toddler sons and daughters to pull themselves up off the ground with as I scream in pain.

He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard, then pulled his hand back with a snap.”Ah,” he said. “Must deactivate the security….Turn around, please.””What?””Turn around, Claire. It’s a secure password!””You have GOT to be...

Very helpful, I must say. Look at them in the eye and shout, and they understand every word…” (Mr. Warbeck in Sienna, talking about local Italians.)

He’s chocolate,” Mikey said.

Only dead fishes go with the flow.. I guess that make me a dead fish!

A blanket could be used in a secretive manner. What? I can’t just tell you how it could be used. What part of secretive don’t you understand?

The human body is the best work of art.

Do women usually thank you for saying things like that?

A brick could be used like a Viking skull holds soup. If you bring a spoon, I can quench your thirst—and your hunger.

Pick up a thing,” [Wizard Kadmeion’s]mother would say. “Touch, smell, and taste it. Listen to its nonsense. Then put the funny thing in its proper place.

Eat your heart out. Oh, wait. You can’t. It’s not organic.

Sore loser? You bet your fuckin’ ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that’s for chumps....

Umgangsformen sind Formen, die zunehmend umgangen werden.

American people are not evil. Given information, they will do the right thing. But they’re not given the information.

brooklyn writer” and you’ll get, Did you mean: the future of literature as we know it?

If you want to live a life free of regret, there is an option open to you. It’s called a lobotomy.

Just because someone gets arrested doesn’t mean what they are doing is wrong. Some laws are unfair and unjust.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

I laughed all the way through Love Story.

Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you’re trying to show respect.

You should eat a waffle! You can’t be sad if you eat a waffle!

Just like a summer sausage, and I’m not talking about the snack-sized ones. And it’s attached to a body that could put Dwayne Johnson to shame. What women could resist a package like that? I’d...