The important thing to remember is that bugs don’t actually talk.

I mean, I’ve sold all these scripts and nothing’s been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don’t get made.

Oh please,” Scout said.”Don’t take that tone with me. You know you’d love to have a minion. Someone at your beck and call. Someone to do your bidding. How many times have you said to...

Heat radiated off Henry’s face. Salty snot ran down his upper lip. A majestic fart propelled him to the top of Section 12, just at the springing of the stadium’s curve. He slapped the sign...

To get faster and better service, ring a bell. It’s the same principal as honking at someone in traffic. People respond well to it, and they seem to really enjoy it.

To the issues of friendship, love, business and war, “surprise” is the optimistic solution.

Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight, or he’ll be forced to stick you. meet him where we buried the Korean whore. The one without the goatee.”That was code. It...

I don’t beg for those things which can be earned.

Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.

This is where you all live?” Asked John as they ascended the stairs. “It’s small.””This is just our Thanksgiving house,” Scott muttered. “We have a house for every day of the year.

Quote from In Love of Honey, Money….and My Virgin PassportIf you think you’ve the most wicked sense of humour, try life!

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

Even as zombies, ridiculous prom gowns were the downfall of teenage girls, crippling them at the knees.

Hollywood is like Picasso’s bathroom.

You can’t make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.

We came to an agreement, the duck and I.

As a lover I aim to please, and afterwards I aim at the toilet. Sometimes I miss, but no matter what, you’ll always receive splatters of intimacy.

doplní Nick.

Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me.” My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. “Um…” Focus,focus. “What?

Although we dealt decisively with all terrorist organizations, we at the same time not only maintained, preserved our democracy, but kept improving it.

I say, `Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose,and come to look round the torture-chamber! Aha, aha, aha!

When a boy’s first romantic interlude is with Pheobe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life.

Love is an intense flickable mystery, like a booger.

Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my tongue. It had such a distinctive feel, neither cuspid nor molar…but...

Remember: if everyone else gives 110% effort, and you give 120%, you’re really only giving a little over 109%.

I’m not saying I’m not saying. I’m also not saying I’m in love, and I’m not not saying I’m in love.

Great, I can look forward to having a swiss cheese wardrobe.

It’s just CIA being CIA.

Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have…undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It’s because he...

There’s a reason caveman started to develop sophisticated tools before the meteor wiped them all out: It’s so they could fucking shave. Do you know how frustrating it must have been to be hunched over...

The Rusty Ruins were the remains of an old city, a hulking reminder of back when there’d been way too many people, and everyone was incredibly stupid. And ugly.

Really, it’s amazing. You are his other half, Alexandria, You are fated to be with him. You belong to him.”It felt like something sat heavy on my chest. “Oh.Oh.No.”Seth frowned at me. “You don’t have...

Would you like a name of a good doctor who will schedule your little snip-snip operation?”she bit out.

The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay off my American Express Bill”- Peter Ustinov, 1921-2004

All mothers are slightly insane.

Sylph and Jodi return to my side, each carrying a cloth sack full of chickweed. I wrap my arm around Sylph’s waist and give her a quick squeeze. “Lesson’s over for today. I have something...

Do you want a cookie?- What?- A cookie. Like an Oreo. Do you want one?- No.- How can you not want a cookie?- I just don’t.- Okay, fine,let’s say you did want a cookie. Let’s...

Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I had a dream about you. You were you, but you were many—a multitude of mannequins, each named Manny. And I was me, but I was Dark Jar Tin Zoo, and as such I made...

She says you’re not awake until you’re actually out of bed and standing up.

Nobody peels a banana before stabbing themselves with it. But that’s exactly how I love—dangerously.

Democracy was supposed to champion freedom of speech, and yet the simple rules of table decorum could clamp down on the rights their forefathers had fought and died for.

…You see I believe in that stuff to: yoga and mystical powers. I once knew a man who could kill himself on command. Can you believe that? . . . Why do you laugh? ....

I’ve taken care of it,” I saidMy father looked at me, shocked.Then I realized “taken care of” had a very specific meaning in his line of work.”No, no, I mean he’s gone.

Coveralls,” I reply, and I know I’m no longer screening what’s coming out of my mouth.He raises a eyebrow, amused yet again. “You wouldn’t want to ruin your clothing.” I gesture vaguely in the direction...

My hatred notwithstanding, I had to admit Dimitri Beli-whatever was pretty smart

When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!

Is he following? Can you have a flaming gay moment or something and check?””Why do I have to be the flaming gay one?

Why?”Because I know it’ll annoy the shit out of you.

Again Creb grunted. It was the usual noncommittal comment used by men when responding to a woman. It carried only enough meaning to indicate the woman had been understood, without acknowledging too much significance in...