Like a statue, I’m hairless. Also like a statue, I have hair. Let’s make love like a dandelion goes bald in the breeze.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

I agree that sometimes it is difficult to choose between right and wrong, but not between right and stupid.

The Sweater Song.” Cats find that song very cleansing.

Nick rubbed his hand across his face as he tried to make sense of her prattle. But that was the thing about Simi. She seldom made sense.

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with … G.””Sausages.

I was doing my little stand up shtick, the one I did for pretty girls, so they’d like me quickly and wouldn’t try too hard to actually get to know me beyond my role as...

Otter! Otter! Otter!Don’t lead cows to slaughter!I love you, and I knowI should’ve told you soon-aBut you didn’t buy the dolphin-safe tuna!

If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

I never intended to become a zombie huntress; I had only intended to protest prom, high school’s last bastion of patriarchal society.

Here, by the grace of God and an inside straight, we have a personality untouched by the psychotic taboos of our tribe – and you want to turn him into a carbon copy of every...

I never knew my father. I saw him at a party once, but he never walked over and introduced himself to me.

He’s my father, whoever he is, so he must have had sex with my mother at least once, and I’d love to kill him for that.

Simon!” Clary shouted, and seized his arm. “What?” Simon looked alarmed.”I’m not really sleeping with your mom, you know. I was just trying to get your attention. Not that your mom isn’t a very attractive...

I am the Hooray Distributor. Hold your hands flat, not like begging for money, but as if you’re about to applaud. Now clap, damn you.

Her descriptions will be incandescent, perfect little nuggets of phraseology, and there will probably be lots of sex in her writing – the clinical type of sex with labias and clitorises and tongues going everywhere.

…what was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn’t remember what you did, and then somebody shot you.

My nose, it’s like a doorstop for fists. Violence is just my fellow man’s way of showing love to me.

Epic fail, beautiful.

The pimple is perfect.

I drink coffee like other men paint pictures of naked women. I do it because I love the full body.

Great,” Shane said. “Look i’d rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners.””And to cleaning,” Michael said.”Look who’s talking, Didn’t the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in...

But thanks to the efforts, the initiative of the United States and of the several countries from the world, from Europe, including Turkey, it ended within a few weeks.

I’ve got a lot of love to give you. And by you I mean your clone.

And I think I’m underappreciated.

I didn’t mean it as a compliment!

I drink trees, and I pee beavers. I know, you must imagine that I’m an exceptional lover. And I am! (I’m imagined, not an exceptional lover).

I answered that I was sure, and he asked me again, and this time I understood his concern. ‘I’m not embarrassed!’ I said, or at least tried to say, before recalling that embarazada means something...

Just this past summer, I took online courses in introductory logic and law through civilization. Often the weight of history, with its facts heaped upon facts requiring complex chains of inference to sort through –...

Adam’s hot Pheebs! Admit it girl. That body is like some kind of happy experiment. It’s like he was manufactured in a nympho scientist’s secret laboratory

And it’s really very difficult to kill someone when all your inner instincts would oblige you to take off your hat first!

It was all Mrs. Bumble. She would do it,” urged Mr. Bumble; first looking round, to ascertain that his partner had left the room.That is no excuse,” returned Mr. Brownlow. “You were present on the...

what’s meant for you will reach you in time, and if you embrace it with your arms wide open it might just stay with you forever and bless you with more happiness than you could...

Is Walt turning over in his grave? A man named Joe Roth runs Disney right now-he gave me the go-ahead and total freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a...

Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?

I don’t always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I’ll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.

Stupid Romanian bloodsucker. He was lucky I hadn’t bestowed another exalted scar on his imperial body.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

There’s no way that you’re real,” she murmured to his crotch.

Don’t confuse efforts with results….

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you’ll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink.

Pops added,”you know, they say if you don’t vote, you get the government you deserve.””And if you do, you never get the results you expected,” (Katherine) replied.

The butcher died, and he requested to be cremated. But I don’t want to burn him, because I like my meat medium rare.

You sure are a sweet girl, Scout. I’m half tempted to keep you.””Ummm… Thanks?” Knowing she was a potential Alpha I worried about what “keeping me” might entail. Probably chains. And whips. And maybe a...

I wish my nose would blow me for once.

Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!

No, you clearly weren’t because my name isn’t ‘babe’. I bet you don’t even know my name. So, no, you cannot sit here, Nero.

No such word as can’t. No such word as babagoozle neither!