Honestly, he could be adorable, and at the moment she had the feeling he wasn’t even trying.

I don’t know how to ground myself without the other actor present.

If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they’d still be brother and sister.

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account…

The queen’s eyes smouldered. “I know my own kind when I see them, and right now there is one in these city walls.” She pointed a finger toward the balcony.”I want her found and brought...

Since I had a soft spot for zombies and my curiosity was killing me, I opted for plan Z.

There you are. A simple commandment. Not ten of them, just one: ‘Thou shalt not eat.’ (Personally, I wish the very first edict from God hadn’t involved dieting, don’t you?)

It’s all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.

You’re not?

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.

She’d had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche.

Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.

void”. Are a bit whorish in that the instant you walk away from them in less than a minute they’ll be all over someone else, and the moment you actually need them they’re nowhere to...

Love is you wearing her favorite shirt of yours, just like you did yesterday and the day before. And the day before that too.

Who’s driving the boat?”Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed.

The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you’ll look back and thank them for...

Day drag.” Ashley answered simply. “The sun turns vampires into dust and drag queens into this.” He motioned with his hand down his body.

Nona needs a very dry martini.

Van was feeding Christian as we walked in the door. I shielded my hands in front of my face to prevent from seeing her bare breast. “God damn woman, put that tit away!””I’m feeding my...

If he can’t get to the clock, any idea how we deal with this lot?””With great care,” Donegan suggested.”How about we run off shout and they follow?” Said Gracious. “Then, just when they think they’ve...

Did we really come all that way?” She asked. “Time flies when you’re scared out of your mind.” He answered.

I’m going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour.” Finbar rolled his eyes. “And they’ll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy...

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon.”Daemon’s grin went up a notch. “Nah, she likes my ass too much for that.

world’s sexiest man” if the planet were populated entirely by my clones.

Just curious,she mouthed.”What? I didn’t catch that.”Jjuussttccuurriioouuss.She drew it out this time, hoping he’d be able to read her lips.”If you spoke out loud,” he drawled, “I might understand what you’re saying.”Caroline stamped her foot...

You, lass, have a self-image problem.”Well, that might be a little true, but she also had a mirror.

For in the forest someone is always watching and someone is always listening!

What?” she asked again.He pointed ahead of them. “See that?””What, the snow?””Beyond that.””More snow?””Stop looking at the snow.

Secret 1.4. The real question isn’t whether you’re cleared for top secret, it’s whether you’re cleared for unclassified.

And if that is the Foremast, what do you think that sail might be called, Mr. Wheeler?””The Foresail?””Very good, Mr. Wheeler, and the next one up would be called…”…”The Next Sail, Sir?””Alas, no, Mr. Wheeler.

It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like...

Who cares even if I didn’t?!” Conor shouted back. “They’re just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!”The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words...

What’s a slut?” I ask him.”A girl who puts out too easily.””Puts out what?” I imagine Greer putting out dinner and don’t understand what Iwan wouldn’t like about that.”Puts out, you know…” His face, already...

I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college. Read Wikipedia for free instead.

What would Golan Do? That way I can ask myself before I do anything. Before I take a dump. How would Dr. Golan want me to take this dump? Should I bank it off the...

Let me remind you of two words, Mercer: Bad. Dog.

late” so and so. I’m sorry to break that bad news, but that person isn’t just late—they’re not even coming!

JASON: ‘Intended wings.’ How depressing.MICHAEL: Yes. Makes them into suicides, really, the pigeons.JASON: No – no, it doesn’t. It could mean the wings were ‘intended’ to carry them upwards, out of the darkness, but they...

Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

must” in mustard. Sadly, the only man alive who understands what I mean is dead. RIP Mitch Ketchup.

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

I wouldn’t miss this fake-homo show for all the Gucci Shoes on Rodeo Drive.

I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.

In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.

After a few seconds of scraping, I realize what he has isn’t a trail, it’s a whole forest! Ack! Weren’t all men supposed to shave their chest and stuff nowadays? Whatever happened to having fuzz-free Hollywood heroes...

I have a real problem keeping friends. I’m always running out of space in my freezer.

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

You flatter me shamelessly. I like it. Good.

Your ass is mine.

The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend?” William asked. The look on William’s face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish