Since my love is so foggy, I could never date a woman named Misty. Or Steve, because that’s my dad’s name, and that’d be strange.

I turned on my faucet, and out slithered a clear garden snake. It was too cold to shave with, so I grew out a beard and patch of broccoli. Sometimes my love is liquid, and...

It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for you and your secret lover.