Oh Gina…I didn’t even court you! God, I should date you first before I beg you to take off your clothes!

Throwing blondes at Locke Lamora was not unlike throwing lettuce at sharks.

But with each step she took, Mythili realized why most people don’t go shopping alone. It’s because this mind of ours gets pretty damn busy. It starts analyzing every little stimulus you receive. And because...

You can’t give her that!’ she screamed. ‘It’s not safe!’IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.’She’s a child!’ shouted Crumley.IT’S EDUCATIONAL.’What if she cuts herself?’THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

Wow,” a lot. Part of the brain exists to stop this from happening.

Chater: You dare to call me that. I demand satisfaction!Septimus: Mrs Chater demanded satisfaction and now you are demanding satisfaction. I cannot spend my time day and night satisfying the demands of the Chater family.

How often misused words generate misleading thoughts.

I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

I believe that if it were left to artists to choose their own labels, most would choose none.

This was fast becoming messy war with our hall now covered in foam and a puddle of green slime…

Try jogging when following your heart, it’s healthier

Christmas comes but once a year, starts in August ends in July

We, you say? What do you think I can do about it? I can’t even walk without help. How can you and I set about preventing a murder? You’re about a hundred and I’m a...

When he didn’t answer, she didn’t know if it was because he couldn’t or if he was back to not talking to her. Back to pushing her out of his life.Men! Why was it that...

Baumauer secretly fears Kalist – and Kalist knows it.

Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma that beckons me like a fluff girl on scuffed knees.

There is much to discover that’s not on the back cover!

On the doorstep Adele met Tony Limpsfield. She hurried him into her motor, and told the chauffeur not to drive on.”News!” she said. “Lucia’s going to have a lover.””No!” said Tony in the Riseholme manner”But...

Knock yourself out… Or rather, don’t.

Never in all her life had she imagined that this idolized millinery could look, to those who paid for it, like the decorations of an insane monkey.

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she’d fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew...

No,” he said, “look, it’s very, very simple … all I want … is a cup of tea. You are going to make one for me. Keep quiet and listen.” And he sat. He told...

What’s a Dullahan?”He’s a headless horseman, in the service of the banshee.”Headless?”Yes.”Seriously?”Yes.”So he has no head?”That’s usually what headless means.”No head at all?”You’re really getting hung up on this headless thing, aren’t you?”It’s just kind...

Would you ask a man who bags groceries if he fears death not because it is death but because there are still some interesting groceries he would like to bag?

He continued to attack the gate. His arm started to ache. The hammer was designed for neither brute nor force. “Are you all right up there?” asked Eleanor. “Want me to go see if I...

You forgot something important!-What?-It’s under my sweater!-WHAT?!-Me!

Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another.

Words were insufficient for the elevation of his [Mr Collins’] feelings; and he was obliged to walk about the room, while Elizabeth tried to unite civility and truth in a few short sentences.

Maxim 6: If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

To come with a well-informed mind is to come with an inability of administering to the vanity of others, which a sensible person would always wish to avoid. A woman especially, if she have the...

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, converting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and...

It made Craze smile, despite wishing most of his body parts would find new homes and leave him in peace.

Big flashy things have my name written all over them. Well… not yet, give me time and a crayon.

Kurt pick his way around testing for heat before taking each step and avoiding places where the ash was heaps up.

The thing about changing the world… Once you do it, the world’s all different.

When she emerged, Keith was watching the tiny round window of the under-the-counter washing machine. “Put your clothes in for a wash,” he said. “They were disgusting.”Ginny always thought that the only way of getting...

A sense of humour is a sense of proportion.

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Facebook should start publishing breakup stories. ‘So and so and so and so are no longer in a relationship.’ With a tombstone next to it.

You’re not?

Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-like-to-be-left-alone-to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts

So then do you think it’s true that he killed someone? And what about the part where he wishes he could die?””If it IS true that he killed someone, that’s bad.”In any case, “it seems...

I want a new liver to replace my heart.””Um, why?””Because then I could drink more and care less.

There is indeed a great deal of futility amongst the human race which we do not commonly see, for it all forms part of our illusion; but let a man be much annoyed by something...

To refer even in passing to unpublished or struggling authors and their problems is to put oneself at some risk, so I will say here and now that any unsolicited manuscripts or typescripts sent to...

You’re a sweetie. I appreciate you cheering me on from the sidelines. But I think I need to go to the bathroom now and throw up.

Why don’t you go to bed for a bit, Glory?” suggested Robert. “It’s been a hell of a war.”It’s been a hell of a war, he said. I’ll never forget it.

Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.