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Ridiculous  Quotes
That’s where I went to buy my last watch.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdFunnyHumor
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Nicknames stick to people, and the most ridiculous are the most adhesive.

—Thomas Chandler

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NicknamesRidiculousStick
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It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of...

—H.L. Mencken

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ArgumentAssumptionsAtheism
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I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBizarreCherry
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Like Alexander the Great and Caesar, I’m out to conquer the world. But first I have to stop at Walmart and pick up some supplies.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAlexander-The-GreatBizarre
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I have been pregnant in so many movies it’s ridiculous.

—Jennifer Aniston

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PregnantRidiculous
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Why is it that showers and even storms seem to come by chance, so that many people think it quite natural to pray for rain or fine weather, though they would consider it ridiculous to...

—Henri Poincaré

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ChanceEclipseNatural
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t was once famously said that it is as well that wars are so ruinously expensive, else we would never stop fighting them. However well said, it seems also to be endlessly forgotten that, while...

—Paul Hoffman

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CaleCheapEnd
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I think people are going to return to sanity when they see how ridiculous many of these charges are, and how the predictions are not borne out.

—Dixie Lee

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ReturnRidiculousSanity
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All letters of love are Ridiculous. They wouldn’t be love letters if they were not Ridiculous.

—Fernando Pessoa

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FernandoLettersLove
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If you think it’s offensive that I call alleged biblical miracles ridiculous, you should ask yourself whether or not it’s ridiculous to insist that Muhammad flew on a winged horse. Or that the earth was...

—David G. McAfee

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ChristianityCriticismDavid-G-Mcafee
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OK,” Josh said evenly, “I’ve seen men made of mud, I guess I can accept spying rats. Do they talk?” he wondered aloud.Don’t be ridiculous,” Flamel snapped, “They’re rats.”Josh really didn’t think it was a...

—Michael Scott

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FunHumorRandom
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Dear Edmond,While you were sleeping this afternoon, I was busy hustling around town. You see, when I woke up early this morning to clean the apartment for the party tonight, I noticed that all your...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdComicalFunny
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This supreme instance of Troy’s goodness fell upon Gabriel’s ears like the thirteenth stroke of a crazy clock.

—Thomas Hardy

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CrazyFar-From-The-Madding-CrowdFavorite
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I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the sudden I had twice the dick in my mouth as before....

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAssholeDick
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Don’t be ridiculous, please.’The most insulting words in the world!

—L.M. Montgomery

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L-M-MontgomeryRidiculousWords
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Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

—Jarod Kintz

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When you find yourself looking ridiculous, reasoning isn’t worth a damn.

—Osamu Dazai

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HonorRidiculeRidiculous
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Orafoura paid me in pajamas, and I let him because the pajamas matched his plaid mustache.

—Jarod Kintz

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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.

—Rodney Dangerfield

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MetRidiculousSaid
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I make ridiculous like I make damn sure nobody sees me when I do. I make it by hand and then I sell it on Etsy. Buy local.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBuy-LocalEasy
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Vincent had ten major ideas every week: three brilliant, five good, and two ridiculous.

—Jean-Dominique Bauby

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BrilliantIdeasRidiculous
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I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn’t burned down, you don’t have cancer, and your daughter hasn’t been raped or murdered. The bad news is...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBad-NewsCrazy
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I think the tax cut is ridiculous but so am I.

—Randy Newman

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CutRidiculousTax
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Dallas is an extraordinary place in it’s own right. The first thing about Dallas that you can’t get away from, particularly when I arrived, you’ve got no idea of the heat in this place. It’s...

—Chris Vance

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HereMeanRidiculous
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There is no real bravery in getting paid to save someone’s life. However, there is a large amount of bravery in a nurse break dancing at the hospital’s Christmas party.

—Shannon L. Alder

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BraveryBreak-DancingChristmas-Party
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I heard my friend’s car wouldn’t start, so I mailed him a parking lot. I should be a politician.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdAutomobileCar
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And even though it was ridiculously childish, in the end I had to call myself a faggot, which really annoyed me, because 1. I don’t think that word should ever be used by anyone, let...

—John Green

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ChildishPaper-TownsQuentin-Jacobsen
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It’s ridiculous to repeat costly mistakes because you believe there is always a next chance. Mistakes may flow, but you have all it takes to close the canals they used!

—Israelmore Ayivor

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Another-ChanceBelieveCanals
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How crazy it would be if the moon did spin and the earth stood still and the sun went dim!How absolutely ludicrous if snakes could walk and kids could fly and mimes did talk!How silly...

—Richelle E.

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BooksFairy-TalesFantasy
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On my recent trip to Washington DC, I wore a hat I made out of a tin funnel that I covered with fur. Why? Because I was going to where the world’s largest collection of...

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdFurHat
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You can’t fight hatred with hatred and expect anyone to listen to you. You can only try to lessen it with humor, wit, truth and commonsense. If that doesn’t work run like hell, while they...

—Shannon L. Alder

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Angry-PeopleArgumentsBickering
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You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdFunnyHumor
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It’s ridiculous, but it’s horrible going bald. Anyone who says it isn’t is lying.

—James Nesbitt

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AnyoneRidiculousSays
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yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdCrazyFriends
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As to the fragments of morality that are irregularly and thinly scattered in those books [the Bible], they make no part of this pretended thing, revealed religion. They are the natural dictates of conscience, and...

—Thomas Paine

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BondsBooksConscience
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What is most vile and despicable about money is that it even confers talent. And it will do so until the end of the world.

—Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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MoneyRidiculousTalent
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Glimmer, I hear someone call her – ugh, the names the people in District 1 give their children are so ridiculous …

—Suzanne Collins

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ChildrenGlimmerNames
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You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdLoveNonsense
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That’s just ridiculous,

—Kevin Quinn

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Ridiculous
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I’d love to work with an Asian guy named Wu Hu, because just saying his name would get me all pumped up and excited.

—Jarod Kintz

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Asian-GuyExcitedFunny
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Though it is not a direct article of the christian system that this world that we inhabit is the whole of the habitable creation, yet it is so worked up therewith, from what is called...

—Thomas Paine

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BeliefChristian-FaithEve
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… the more I learned, the more conscious did I become of the fact that I was ridiculous. So that for me my years of hard work at the university seem in the end to...

—Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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AbsurdRidiculous
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This idea that clumsy, stumbling people are real bright is ridiculous, because intelligence is related to neurologic function, and really intelligent people are very well-coordinated.

—Robert Jarvik

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BrightFunctionRidiculous
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Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about.

—Jarod Kintz

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AbsurdBlobClay
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If anyone else asked that question, O He Who Is Terrible and Great, I would have said they were an ignorant fool; in you it is a sign of the disarming simplicity which is the...

—Jonathan Stroud

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HumourIgnoranceRidiculous
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Dear Ford,I think my Ford Explorer door is broken. It just won’t close. I think this is because I don’t have the rest of the Explorer, I only have the door.It’s a passenger-side door, and...

—Jarod Kintz

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BizarreE-MailFord
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It is not then the existence or the non-existence, of the persons that I trouble myself about; it is the fable of Jesus Christ, as told in the New Testament, and the wild and visionary...

—Thomas Paine

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AbsurdityDebaucheryDoctrine
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In an ordinary suit and tie, I’d look like a little macho. I’d be ridiculous.

—Azzedine Alaia

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OrdinaryRidiculousSuit
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I have received nasty e-mails, messages on Twitter and ridiculous comments, not only about my size, but my family.

—Ireland Baldwin

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NastyRidiculous
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