Technically, you don’t pay me.And technically, most of what I do is “think.”I…rrr. ummm.And when you get right down to it, I’m better at it than you are.-Ennesby & Captain Tagon

Where was his knife, upon which he relied? He had cut cheese for their noonday meal, and had packed the knife away with the cheese.Aillas said: ‘Sir, before we continue with this matter, may I...

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.

With sociology one can do anything and call it work

Without desire, one is a walking cadaver.

He had to be nice to me at the moment because he had to be surrounded by people. This was because boys like him were, essentially, pasta. Everyone thought they loved him because they had...

Marines either know how to use an iron or they get married […]. The iron is less dangerous.

Eros mumbled something.”I’m sorry?” said Aphrodite.”Whatwouldjesusdo.””What would Jesus do?” said Aphrodite. “Let me tell you something. Jesus was a very good boy. He would do exactly what his mother told him to.””But-“”Jesus was supposed to...

Laugh until you cry;never let your eyes look dryThis is not a matter of joke;this is all to provokeour sense of humourLife is its own consumer!

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

A good speech is like a miniskirt–long enough to over all the vital parts, short enough to entice and captivate listeners.

As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread.

Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don’t want you to fix the problem, they just want to...

Silas consumed only one food, and it was not bananas.

Oh, man, she’s gonna love you,’ Max said. ‘Physically. A lot.

Ci sono divergenze di natura teologica su… Vediamo, per esempio sulla raffigurazione latina del purgatorio. – C’è qualcuno a cui frega una cippa di minchia della raffigurazione latina del purgatorio? – reagisce Dio, versandosi dell’altro...

Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.

She didn’t sound overjoyed. She didn’t sound even slightly joyed.

The wild women in his lap,’ my father enthused, ‘laying their breasts on his head.’There was a moment of stunned silence. Then my mother spoke slowly, with an edge to her voice. ‘I think you...

In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.

Can’t you see that I’m only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?

She had spears of straw and grass in her hair, not like Ophelia gone mad through contact with Hamlet’s madness, but because she had slept in some stable loft.

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That’s the two categories. The horrible are like, I don’t know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don’t know how...

Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, “You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood.

If you’re listening to this, congratulations! You survived Doomsday.I’d like to apologize straightaway for any inconvenience the end of the world may have caused you. The earthquakes, rebellions, riots,tornadoes, floods, tsunamis, and of course the...

At home I’ve got a very puerile, juvenile sense of humour.

Space, as you can see, is a complete void, nothing but clear air, without solid objects or the illumination of light. On some of our photographs of space, however, studied close to, even without a...

Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden.

On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares the property with a glossy beef burger called Tom, who has been painted by a...

Tom, how many children do you think I have to have before I figure out you get them by having sex?””Of course there would be protection,” he offered.”Tons of it.

In the middle section of the book Mirabelle breaks into not one, but two houses near Belgravia Books. I had fun scoping these out – checking which windows looked least secure and figuring out how...

Mr Hawkins said nothing; the Hawkins’ domestic affairs were arranged upon the principle that Fanny supplied the talk and he the silence.

Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was.Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.

The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is...

To do is to be – AristotleTo be or not to be – ShakespeareTo be is to do – Jean-Paul SartreDo be do be do – Frank Sinatra

Centurion! Would you like to be a cavalryman one last time? There are Venicones who escaped when your line was broken to be hunted down, and Tribune Licinius has ordered me to take the best...

Lebedev: France has a clear and defined policy… The French know what they want. They just want to wipe out the Krauts, finish, but Germany, my friend, is playing a very different tune. Germany has...

I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.

I tried to think outside the box but couldn’t open the lid.

Age may catch up with you, just never let it over take you.

And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he...

Have a selective optimistic sight, transform the bitch glitch “in stitches.

Obelmäker is eating at his desk, a habit both Baumauer and Pissec find repulsive.

Sometimes I think about dying. And then I wonder about going to hell. And then I think that if and when I go there, the place will be completely organized and run by lost souls,...

Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist’s career.

Miss Mackintosh waved her arms wildly.”Oh, please stop, and let me guess,” she cried. “I shall go crazy with joy if I’m right. It was an old Peerage, and so she found that Lady Deal...

For my sustenance at night,the whole that my hands can gleanfrom the gloom of the oak-gloomed oaks–the herbs and the plenteous fruits…

That’s what yer little sister said,’ said Hagrid, nodding at Ron. Met her jus’ yesterday.’ Hagrid looked sideways at Harry, his beard twitching. ‘Said she was jus’ lookin’ round the grounds, but I reckon she...

If you knew how many hidden depths I had your pretty eyes would pop right out of your winsome face. Not literally of course – that would be disgusting. I wouldn’t envy the man who...

you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel.