There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Interviewer: ‘So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?’Frank Zappa: ‘You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.

Most rock journalism is people who can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, for people who can’t read.

Do you love it – do you hate it? There it is the way you made it

Schools train you to be ignorant with style […] they prepare you to be a usable victim for a military industrial complex that needs manpower. As long as you’re just smart enough to do a...

The only difference between a cult and a religion is the amount of real estate they own

Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you’ve got any guts. Some of...

I searched for years I found no love. I’m sure that love will never be a product of plasticity.

In a fight between you and the world, pick the world

Information is not knowledge.Knowledge is not wisdom.Wisdom is not truth.Truth is not beauty.Beauty is not love.Love is not music.Music is THE BEST.

Most people wouldn’t know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

If classical music is the state of the art, then the arts are in a sad state

Well, I’m not here to impinge on anybody else’s lifestyle. If I’m in a place where I know I’m going to harm somebody’s health or somebody asks me to please not smoke, I just go...

It is always advisable to be a loser if you cannot become a winner

My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.

Without deviation progress is not possible.

The most important thing in art is the frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively – because, without this humble appliance, you can’t know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You...

Jazz isn’t dead. It just smells funny.

Music is always a commentary on society.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read

There’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.

The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.

Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.

The manner in which Americans ”consume” music has a lot to do with leaving it on their coffee tables, or using it as wallpaper for their lifestyles, like the score of a movie –it’s consumed...

Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?

I don’t want to see any religious people in public office because they’re working for another boss

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.

The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has a medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball…I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand...

People, wake up Figure it out Religious fanatics Around and about The Court House, The State House, The Congress, The White House Criminal saints With a “Heavenly Mission” – A nation enraptured By pure superstition

I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you’re out there and you’re cute, maybe you’re beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin’ — there’s...

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.

I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that ever happened, and vice versa.

The Ultimate Rule ought to be: ‘If it sounds GOOD to you, it’s bitchin’; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it’s shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself...

Jazz is not dead – it just smells funny

So many books, so little time.

There is no such thing as a dirty word. Nor is there a word so powerful, that it’s going to send the listener to the lake of fire upon hearing it.

I believe that people have a right to decide their own destiny; people own themselves. I also believe that, in a democracy, government exists because (and only as long as) individual citizens give it a...

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.

If you want to get together in any exclusive situation and have people love you, fine- but to hang all this desperate sociology on the idea of The Cloud-Guy who has The Big Book, who...

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on

I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone’s teeth get cleaner?

Anything, Any time, Anywhere – for no Reason at All.