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Bob Newhart  Quotes
I don’t know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there’s a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That’s kind of regrettable.

—Bob Newhart

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ConfusionToday
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The only thing I have never done is a Broadway play. I’m not sure I have the discipline necessary to do a Broadway play. I know it holds a fascination for certain actors.

—Bob Newhart

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CertainDisciplineSure
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I can’t do a one-camera show. I don’t know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line.

—Bob Newhart

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HeadLineNext
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I’m most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don’t have that, you really don’t have very much.

—Bob Newhart

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LongevityProud
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I think the thing about it is when you grow up in Chicago there’s such a thing as putting on airs, you know? And you just learn not to put on airs. Don’t act like,...

—Bob Newhart

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ActLearnSomebody
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When I started, I was doing all the good comedians I’d ever seen. Then I developed my own voice. My routines are my natural way of looking at the world.

—Bob Newhart

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LookingStarted
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There isn’t a comedian in the world that hasn’t bombed.

—Bob Newhart

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BombedComedian
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I don’t want to sound like the old guy, but cynicism is a potential danger. It colors our way of looking at the world.

—Bob Newhart

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GuyLookingSound
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No matter what hyenas sound like, they are not actually laughing.

—Bob Newhart

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LaughingMatterSound
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I have to warn you, I’m not just some sitcom guy. I’m now an author.

—Bob Newhart

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AuthorGuySitcom
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Chuck Lorre and I had been talking about doing one of his shows for a while. I said I’d like to do ‘The Big Bang Theory,’ because I think it’s the best written, most intelligent...

—Bob Newhart

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SaidWhile
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With the advent of cell phones, especially with the very small microphone that attach to the cell phone itself, it’s getting harder and harder I find, to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a...

—Bob Newhart

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GettingItselfSmall
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When you’re going for a joke, you’re stuck out there if it doesn’t work. There’s nowhere to go. You’ve done the drum role and the cymbal clash and you’re out on the end of the...

—Bob Newhart

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JokeRole
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I don’t know how to do a show not in front of a live audience.

—Bob Newhart

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AudienceFront
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More and more, as I get older, people come up to me and say, ‘Thank you for all the laughter.’ And my standard answer is, ‘It was my pleasure.’ But that’s the truth.

—Bob Newhart

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LaughterOlder
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I was an accountant in Chicago, and a friend of mine, Ed Gallagher, was in advertising. At 4:30 every day I’d be bored, and I would call him. He’d interview me.

—Bob Newhart

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BoredCallFriend
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I don’t think of myself as an American Master. I’ve just been making a living.

—Bob Newhart

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LivingMaster
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You do a clean show and it’s over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you’ve enjoyed yourself, and you haven’t had to resort to shock.

—Bob Newhart

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AudienceCleanThemselves
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I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

—Bob Newhart

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PortrayingTotally
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People are meant to be certain places, and I think I’m meant to be on a sound stage doing situation comedy.

—Bob Newhart

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CertainComedySituation
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I made people laugh as a kid, but that’s not how you make a living.

—Bob Newhart

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KidLaughLiving
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Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.

—Bob Newhart

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Though
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There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not...

—Bob Newhart

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ComedyCryingLaughter
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I really don’t know what makes a comedian. I think it’s a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line.

—Bob Newhart

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Line
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I always stayed away from political commentary. First of all, I didn’t feel entitled. What I may feel about a candidate, I’m a comedian. I mean, if people like my comedy, that doesn’t mean they...

—Bob Newhart

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ComedyMeanPolitical
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I don’t think too much about age. Maybe if you’re hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But I don’t.

—Bob Newhart

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HurtingMaybe
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I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’.

—Bob Newhart

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MeanMeans
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I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn’t what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to give comedy a try.

—Bob Newhart

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ComedyRest
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I think there’s a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.

—Bob Newhart

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ChildlikeComedians
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You may have done 20 great shows in a row and come to one, and it doesn’t work. You never presume anything.

—Bob Newhart

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Shows
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I’m glad you can’t talk on your cells while the plane is in the air. That would drive me crazy.

—Bob Newhart

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CrazyTalkWhile
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I wasn’t the class clown. I wasn’t that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they’re watching the class clown. And I’m standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next...

—Bob Newhart

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LaughNext
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I was very political when JFK ran.

—Bob Newhart

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JfkPoliticalRan
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Funny is funny is funny.

—Bob Newhart

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Bob-NewhartComedyFunny-Is-Funny
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It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don’t work that way. There was a temptation in the early ’70s to reconsider....

—Bob Newhart

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AgainstProblem
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I am one of the great wasters of time. I have made it an art form. I can get up at 8 o’clock in the morning, be out of the house by 8:30 and back...

—Bob Newhart

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I don’t watch that much television.

—Bob Newhart

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TelevisionWatch
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Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

—Bob Newhart

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DealLaughterMove
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This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I’m not about to screw with it now.

—Bob Newhart

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HillsScrew
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I’ve had time off, and it drove me nuts. I was crawling up the wall.

—Bob Newhart

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NutsWall
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You’re not dead at 85. You’re a long way from it. Go out and enjoy. You’ve earned it.

—Bob Newhart

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DeadEarnedEnjoy
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I’m not a classically trained actor. I’m not a product of Stavlovski method or anything like that.

—Bob Newhart

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MethodProductTrained
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I don’t have a stack of scripts that, when I get home, studios are clamoring, saying, ‘Has Bob read ours yet?’

—Bob Newhart

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ReadSaying
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I would say I came from upper middle class family.

—Bob Newhart

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CameClass
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I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that.

—Bob Newhart

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I always hated when the studios just kind of said that anybody can act. You look at people like Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda – and I’m just talking about the male actors – there aren’t...

—Bob Newhart

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ActSaidWish
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I certainly don’t delude myself that there aren’t certainly more important things to do in life than make people laugh, but I can’t imagine anything that would bring me more joy.

—Bob Newhart

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JoyLaugh
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I made a record album in 1960 and it exploded, and I got all these offers for TV.

—Bob Newhart

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AlbumRecordTv
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All comedians are, in a way, anarchists. Our job is to make fun of the existing world.

—Bob Newhart

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ComediansExistingFun
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What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am… a dry sense of humor.

—Bob Newhart

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PrettySense
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