A twirling flower turns each petal into a fan blade. Who knew a symbol of love could be so breezy?

McGough: I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’ve caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don’t worry, sir – I used to suffer from short stories.McGough: Really? When?Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time …

Make love. I meant make love … of course. I would never just stick my dick in you. I would make mad, passionate love to this sweet, sweet body of yours for days, no, weeks....

Ah, so that’s what silence looks like, huh?”

I’ve just finished reading some of my early papers, and you know, when I’d finished I said to myself, ‘Rutherford, my boy, you used to be a damned clever fellow.’ (1911)

Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. ‘Will you swear?’And Myrnin said, shockingly, ‘I will.’ And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, ‘—frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater...

It was generally agreed that a coffin-size studio on Avenue D was preferable to living in one of the boroughs. Moving from one Brooklyn or Staten Island neighborhood to another was fine, but unless you...

The best place to store your weapons safely is in your enemy’s hands. It is in your best interest to be defenseless while your rulers have all the weapons. After all, the government knows what’s...

To me, chocolate was the sole reason we on this earth.

{Summertime she speaks of winter, she eats ham, but speaks of beef, got a good man but, flirts with another. She might as well go to hell, cause she ain’t gonna be happy in heaven...

Let’s be romantic and dance in the rain. I’ll prove my feelings for you by bringing an umbrella, because I’m a bring my own garden kind of lover.

(I didn’t tell him that thediagnosis came three months after I got my first period. Like: Congratulations! You’re a woman. Now die.)

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he’s not… you know, better.””Define BETTER with that guy.””Not all fangs and raaaaar.

My wife was saying to me just the other day how she’s noticed a spring in my step lately. That was because I thought you were gone forever.’ ‘I missed you too, Thurid.

I am two lucky guys.

Renton looks at her and sees her pain and anger. It cuts himup. It confuses him. Kelly has a great sense of humour. What’s wrong with her? The knee–jerkthought: Wrong time of the’ month is...

‘Jane’s World’ has pushed the boundaries for mainstream comic strips: girls have kissed, punched each other, have been abducted by aliens, taken steamy showers together and turned into monkeys. Jane has been through a lot...

I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning.

I’m going to have to give him shit for all this,’ Shane said, as he wandered around. ‘He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?”People who like things neat?”Its not natural.

Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it...

He wouldn’t even understand dry wit if you dropped him off in the desert with a canteen full of sand and a Sandberg poem.

Death’s got an Invisibility Cloak?” Harry interrupted again.”So he can sneak up on people,” said Ron. “Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking…

Star, pillows don’t attack dogs,” Sam said.”Or anything else,” Turtle added.

Yes, the long war on Christianity. I pray that one day we may live in an America where Christians can worship freely! In broad daylight! Openly wearing the symbols of their religion… perhaps around their...

Then again, in some of our meetings, the Upyri bring cocktails, shaking both cocks and tails. Bitches. You can’t live with them, they can’t live without you. It’s a lose-lose situation.

I make furniture that can be used as weapons. The most dangerous piece of furniture is the Loveseat.

I’m picketing pickpockets, because I hate politicians.

Instead of heading for a big mental breakdown, I decided to have a small breakdown every Tuesday evening.

So much good, so much evil. Just add water.

A fallow mind is a field of discontent.

I suppose I could get a job to have something to do, but working when I don’t have to work would be like pulling a straight and healthy tooth — pointless and extremely painful.”–David Palmer

I’m older today than yesterday, and therefore I must be more mature.

Is talking to your clone like talking to yourself, talking to someone else, both, or in the middle?

The Death Eaters can’t all be pure-blood, there aren’t enough pure-blood wizards left,” said Hermione stubbornly. “I expect most of them are half-bloods pretending to be pure. It’s only Muggle-borns they hate, they’d be quite...

I’m English. We’re about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time.

Some of us go full circle. Some of us blindly go nowhere. The circle doesn’t have to be very large to make a point, kick your ass and/or be entertaining. Remember that and stay light....

Also not the kind of place to hide a server.””Is that another pun?” She asked.”No! I swear! I didn’t mean that one.”~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5

I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world’s first everlasting cigarette. It’ll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely.

Just because I have two ears doesn’t mean I can listen to two people at once. Or one politician promising two opposable things.

Am I about to discover where you, Ron, and Hermione disappeared to while you were supposed to be in the back room of Fred and George’s shop?”How did you…?”Harry, please. You’re talking to the man...

Right. That’s twenty-two fifty.””Twenty-two fifty?” We can’t hide our exasperation.”Well, yeah – this is a classy joint, you know.””That’s obvious – the service is incredible.

Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

Cats can do whatever they want, whenever they want, without regard to what anyone says or does. Rather like Princesses.

There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that...

Robots don’t make better lovers, but Roberts do.

I thought it sounded a bit like Percy singing… maybe you’ve got to attack him while he’s in the shower, Harry.

Transform yourself from desperate doormat to outspoken doormat-wielding proctologist.

…cursing my heels and debating whether it was faster to stop and take them off–damn ankle straps!–or keep running with the potential neck breakers. Wouldn’t that make a charming epitaph? Here lies Cat. Killed not...

Ignorance is bliss, except when it hurts

What is the greatest mystery of the universe? The answer is brick. Or is it blanket? I forget which one.