Flashlights would have been nice. Next adventure, Coralee was going to bring a flashlight.

Jeremy and Karl and Elizabeth have known each other since the first day of kindergarten. Amy and Talis are a year younger…Now the five are inseparable; invincible. They imagine that life will always be like...

I had a dream about you. The Thursdays were back, and with them they brought hope. They were selling, and everybody was buying. I tried telling the people they shouldn’t buy, because if they just...

Chocolate is God’s apology for brocolli

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Death—I’m a nonmember for life.

getting lucky” means drinking an entire cup of COFFEE while it’s still HOT!

The shirt says; ‘I bite.’ You prick, not ‘I blo

Don’t feel bad. My body rejects food on occasion too,” Greg said, and she grinned. A sense of humor was always a plus for a man.

I had a dream about you. You wondered if there were any more honest men left in the world, and so did I, because I worked for the government, and if there were any honest...

We were all so young that there were no lines on our faces to read between.

Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.

Her boyfriend can’t hold a candle to me. Especially not while I’m holding the strobe light. It’s hard to do modern dancing when you’re living like it’s 1882. Still, I make it look pretty easy.

Good evening, Lord Corwin,’ said the lean, cadaverous figure who rested against a storage rack, smoking his pipe, grinning around it.Good evening, Roger. How are things in the nether world?’A rat, a bat, a spider....

If you want to dance the dance then you better learn the steps, the world has enough pretenders. If you want to practice sex then you better find a partner, and to love you must...

Your questions regarding that gentleman are very delicate, very subtle, very much like being smacked in the head with a mallet.

I had a dream about you. You whispered in my ear, and I couldn’t quite hear what you said because Beethoven was being deaf too loud in the corner of the room. I thought you...

Cheers to 1812.” He lifted his empty bottle.The whole room whooped and raised their full glasses, howling in unison.I could barely hear over the sound of my own laughter.

You show me a lazy prick who’s lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I’ll show you a guy who’s not causing any trouble.

You don’t want to come out and celebrate with me tonight? What’s more important than the fact that I just got a job? -My grandpa just died. -Oh, shit. I’m sorry, man. -Oh, no, he’s...

After an awkward pause, Bast extended his hand. Chronicler hesitated for a bare moment before reaching out quickly, as if he were sticking his hand into a fire. Nothing happened, both of them seemed moderately...

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Life – with or without softener- is hard

Hodor!

To call yourself an author takes publishing one book. To call yourself an inspirational author is the work of a lifetime that requires being constantly kicked in the stomach, only to get back up on...

I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there’s nothin’ like it. It’s a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you’re thinking....

It may be 9:01 am, and I may have a 9-5 business, but if you are a politician, I’m closed. Come back at 5:01—and bring your own coffin.

Life is too hard to maintain a constantly serious outlook. You have to laugh at yourself and the world now and then―see humor in undesirable circumstances, even harsh situations―or you will either rot from the...

Without discussing it with his mother, Anton went up to his teacher, Miss Katballe, and informed her that after seven years he was now quitting school. It was the best day of her life, she...

Cabel gives her a quizzical look. “I am totally not getting enough attention here.

She didn’t have the body of the supermodel. But that’s OK, because she didn’t have the face of one either.

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

A blanket could be used in exciting medical advancements, curing everything from shivers to tonitrophobia.

A coffin with wheels would make a great shopping cart. I’ll bet a hollowed-out body would hold a lot of soup.

she tried to stand up. It very nearly worked too … apart from the world spinning at great speed with some very pretty stars … then the ground leapt up and hit her quite hard,...

Rabbit’s clever,” said Pooh thoughtfully.”Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit’s clever.””And he has Brain.””Yes,” said Piglet, “Rabbit has Brain.”There was a long silence.”I suppose,” said Pooh, “that that’s why he never understands anything.

And he gave it for his opinion, “that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better...

But with man the case is otherwise, in that when logic leads to any humiliating conclusion, the sole effect is to discredit logic.

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Mr. McGregor’s a nasty piece of work, isn’t he? Quite the Darth Vader of children’s literature.

Ulysses,” by Joyce, because like my undergraduate college degree, that’s nine and a half years of my life I’ll never get back. If the book had been about 75 pages shorter, I might have finished...

Your novels show only the tiniest fraction of detective work, the brilliant crime, the tantalizing clues, the dramatic chase, the final battle atop a lofty peak with ocean waves crashing down below, and then… justice...

Words cannot express my disappointment that I must pass on the invitation to once again witness your gelatinous buttocks swaying as you try to climb a greased pole naked in search of athletic glory. Sadly,...

Patience is a virtue,” she replies.”Why couldn’t ‘hurry the fuck up’ be a virtue?

People should be heard, and music should be listened to.

,Y qué crees tú que ha hecho?-no me importa lo que haya hecho, y a ti tampoco debería importarte. Vamos. Volvamos con Aria. Va por ahí.-Ya sé por donde ha ido.Rugido le dio una palmada...

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.

I was only 20% right, while she was 80% right. Still, I was right that she was wrong—20% wrong.

Excuse me? Tonight you represent every dateless woman in this city, every woman who’s about to sit down to a lonely meal of Weight Watchers past primavera she’s just nuked in the microwave. Every woman...

Laughter is carbonated holiness.