Your Life our your lupines!” Dennis Moore

I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

I fart in your general direction.

Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat’s piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony....

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

You see, I don’t belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.

Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she’s a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] … I got better. Crowd: [shouts]...

NI! Oh no! Not ni!

We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!

When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.

McGough: I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’ve caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don’t worry, sir – I used to suffer from short stories.McGough: Really? When?Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time …

Henry KissingerHow I’m missing yerYou’re the Doctor of my dreamsWith your crinkly hair and your glassy stareAnd your Machiavellian schemesI know they say that you are very vainAnd short and fat and pushyBut at least...