I don’t know what I’d do without you. There’s no one else to look after me. And it’s not just that. I sometimes think you’re the only person who really knows me. I only feel...

I was going to say he’s aimless,” the witch replied. “I know he’s a bit old to be old to living at home with his mom, but he’s had a difficult time holding a job....

By challenging the notion of what art is, Duchamp became a great artist. Also, Duchamp was a champion of Men’s Bathroom Attendants everywhere.

After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.

What do you think dignity’s all about?’The directness of the inquiry did, I admit, take me rather by surprise. ‘It’s rather a hard thing to explain in a few words, sir,’ I said. ‘But I...

My love is greater than a cheese grater, and was instrumental in the creation of the pizza industry. And by instrumental I mean an acoustic guitar.

Nearly everywhere I’ve been, popular wisdom has it that the location of humanity’s original planet is unknown, mysterious. In fact it isn’t, as anyone who troubles to read on the subject will discover, but it...

Neden adam onun kalbini yemiş?-Çünkü bazı erkekler canavardır.-Kadın neden onu seviyor?-Çünkü bazı kadınlar canavarlardan hoşlanır.-Ben de mi?-Bilmem. Sen de mi?-Ben normal canavarlardan hoşlanacağım-Büyük konuşma, seni de göreceğim.

I have always understood that money made in the patent medicine business is a practical bar to social success.

Never get old. It’s a ridiculously uncomfortable process Ath Creator should be made to find a cure for.

What happened?” Bailey asks.”That is somewhat difficult to explain,” Tsukiko answers. “It is a long and complicated story.””And you’re not going to tell me, are you?”She tilts her head a bit … “No, I am...

This is the funniest book I’ve ever held in my hands. –Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize winning humorist and author says about Radical Sabbatical

Fine! I’ll throw on some clothes. Turn around. I’m in my pj’s””I’m a guy. That’s like asking a kid not to glance at the candy counter.

You have a very open relationship with your fans.””Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.

I had a dream about you. You were the lead guitarist in a band with no voice, and you were holding auditions for lead singer. Everybody in line in front of me and behind me...

The ones who constantly make us laugh are the hardest of friends to know – for comedians are the caricatures among us.

The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:’I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to...

Nothing says I love you like the gift of a half-eaten candy bar. I ate my half two weeks before I remembered to give it to her.

[Home Economics Textbook from 1950]: “Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you’ll look refreshed when hubby comes home from work. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair. He’s just been...

Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine’s pink withrhinestones.

Her name is Brienne,” Jaime said. “Brienne, the maid of Tarth. You are still maiden, I hope?”Her broad homely face turned red. “Yes.””Oh, good,” Jaime said. “I only rescue maidens.

Karo kann sehr gut schießen. Sie trifft nur nicht immer.

Sorry,” she said. “I have a psychological disorder that prevents me from keeping thoughts inside my head where they belong.

If politicians lived to be only 30-years-old before dying, that’d still be 30 years too long.

I got over shy a really long time ago. I’m queer, I’m feline, get used to it.

This was very exciting. I’d never had two boys get into a fight over me before. The fact that one of the boys was my stepbrother, however, and held about as much romantic appeal for...

The Beast Lord walked out of the warehouse. The screen went dark.My knight in furry armor.Saiman opened his mouth. “This is why I didn’t. Personally, I think your smile is inappropriate.

I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

You mustn’t stand about. Come home with me to dinner.’‘No.’ More shakes his head. ‘I would rather be blown around on the river and go home hungry. If I could trust you only to put...

You don’t get to be the president of anything if you have bad manners.

I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes, particularly not mine. Especially not when I am dancing alone.

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old.

Sahara knew she should be worried about the fact that she’d been in bed with a man who’d caused that kind of damage with a momentary and, according to him, minor loss of telekinetic control...

I had a dream about you. You were drinking apple juice, and I was drinking horse piss, though the spectators in the stadium couldn’t tell who was drinking what, even though one million dollars for...

I often talk about unconditional love towards others. But the truth is I have always looked for favorable conditions when it comes to self-love and happiness. Now that is what you call a true confession!

Dear God,” said Nudge under her breath, “I want real parents. But I want them to want me too. I wantthem to love me. I already love them. Please see what you can do. Thanks...

It is said that the dead are infinitely patient, although it is usually said by the living, and how would they know?

I told the tree it was going nowhere in life. It was hurtful, but true. Now, maybe in death it will go somewhere, as furniture.

Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don’t throw flowers.

I shot him a look. “That bouncer was really big.”His lips quirked. “Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things.””What?”The grin spread. “I would say size doesn’t matter but it does. I would...

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt?

Can you surf really well, then?”I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.”Jeez, Nico,” I said. “I’ve never really tried.”He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since...

A brick could be used to raise your status as an upstanding citizen. Don’t get too excited, though. It’ll only raise you up about three inches.

The road to creativity passes so close to the madhouse and often detours or ends there.

A fish called Gilbert. But I just call him Gil to save some breath, so I can spend more time underwater petting him like I used to do to grandpa before he drowned.

If you want to be seen, stand up.If you want to be heard, speak up.If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

[Dream] I do not want a grape.[Desire] I could make you want one.

I fell in love with a beautiful girl, got her pregnant, and then I got married. I wonder whatever happened to that beautiful girl I got pregnant.

What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.

Well, it’s nice to know that the Trolls made it this far south,’ Ulath said. ‘I’d hate to have to go looking for them.”Their Gods were guiding them, Ulath,’ Tynian pointed out.’You’ve never talked with...