My tears are salty. I shouldn’t eat potato chips while drinking my Cry Water, because it only makes me thirstier for your love.

Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a seriously starved midget for a week. Now with 33.3% reduced fat!

My love is self-contained, like chips in a bag. Don’t eat it all at once.

I just bought a bag of potato-chip-flavored air. I also bought a bed, but sleep wasn’t included. Thank God a cup of coffee is full of wakefulness.

I have a chip on my shoulder. It’s a nacho, not a sense of bitterness.

I sometimes rub a bag of potato chips, but honestly, it’s no substitute for petting a cat. I’m the sort if pet owner that doesn’t approve of high fructose corn syrup.

I could just have chips and salsa for dinner every day.

I’ll watch the Final Four when there are three teams playing at once for two titles and one large bag of regrets. That bag is mostly full of air, like a bag of potato chips,...

I can create institutions, but I can’t rewrite the chips in people’s heads.

I don’t care if you live by the motto: let the chips fall where they may, but don’t you dare spill the salsa. Not unless you’re holding it while we’re enjoying romance in motion known...

Taste my tears and tell me I don’t have the saltiest love you’ve ever licked. My love for you is like a liquid potato chip.

There’s more salt in the ocean than in one bag of chips. Let this be a lesson in love.

So you’re going to Walmart, huh? Those checkout lines can take an eternity to get through. Well, pick me up some chips while you’re there.

If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy.

I dance like I have a chip on my shoulder. I dance salsa.