There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popularity.

I feel like dancing. If I bring an extra wheelchair for you, would you like to join me?

Who was where when has no impact on where you are now.

She washed he hands,then looked at my side. “you haven’t even had it stitched?” She said incredulously.”I’ve been rather busy,” I said. “With the running like hell and hiding all night.

Fake it. We know you can do that. We’ve seen your sex tape.

She’s under duress,” Peaseblossom said.”I don’t care if she’s under duress, over it, or alongside it,” Moth said. “Nothing in this world supersedes cake.

I like giving gifts, but I like not spending money more.

The salesman said the sale was happening because all the gizmos in the store had to be liquidated. It was a lot of solidfluid, and I would have bought something, but the only thing I...

A brick, in the hands of a Mason, could be used to cover up and hide a secret handshake.

Proper handling of a horse like this is no simple matter. He was trained to race, from birth. Not only to race, but to be the best. Once a champion, he was spoiled with attention...

Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but the head cut her off.

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry.

Courage is a commodity I sell in times of peace. But then my father was a chicken farmer.

Volnaka … did a remarkable job of getting anyone drunk with alacrity. It also worked well as a combustible in lamps, as paint remover, was a marvelous antiseptic and was singularly effective at erasing any...

I love the sunrise, but not as much as I love you. Will you pass me my midnight-black blindfold?

Matty just rolled his eyes and walked over to his older brother. “Why is it when everyone thinks they’re on their death bed, they suddenly find Jesus?”Jayne shrugged and replied, “Because that’s where he likes...

When did swearing become so easy? You still would never swear in front of your parents or most adults, but when you’re with your friends it’s like every fifth word. Why couldn’t learning Spanish be...

S-U-C-I-D-EDo You want to end everything with only six alphabets?

I knew we were destined to be lovers from the moment she tied me up and stuffed me in the trunk of her car.

Have some Itch Soup. I made it from scratch. It tastes like beef jerky, minus the beef. It has all the flavor of starts and stops.

We made love like we made dinner. We had leftovers.

There ARE people who won’t customarily eat an entire row of cookies, or hear food calling their name from other rooms, or who don’t grind up food in the garbage disposal for fear of eating...

Wayne: You wanna know why I really came to find you?Waxilliam: Why?Wayne: I thought of you happy in a comfy bed, resting and relaxing, spending the rest of your life sipping tea and reading papers...

You take a dick and you get it wet and then you put it someplace tight—

My high school teachers didn’t call me “The Babe Ruth of the Bicycle” for nothing. It’s too bad they didn’t call me that, because it was accurate.

Using a mannequin and some rope, could you ride two bicycles at once? Next time, try three bikes. Then truly love someone, because that’s even harder.

I did not approve of your action—I was merely congratulating myself. What you mistook for clapping was merely me giving myself multiple high fives.

There are no mirrors of any kind in here. If there were, I’d want to smash them, but I wouldn’t. Instead, I’d probably just stare at them, giving myself negative affirmations.

We got there without being spotted. I pulled her in, then shut the door, pressing my back to it and exhaling like an epileptic pilot who’d just landed a cargo plane full of dynamite.

The door is shut?

For the sake of my loved ones, I don’t drink sake.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

A brick could be used to send a message. The quickest way to send it would be through the air, and it would make more of an impact than an email or a text message.

I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him to be awake this early, so I was surprised to get a response:...

I advise you to be suspicious of any black American whose family does not claim a blood connection to Native Americans. That’s a clear sign of a racial infiltrator who has not done enough research.

That’ll teach me to start off a conversation with a demand,” I grumbled.

When I’m old and I brush my teeth and her dentures, I’ll smile because that is love—and that is disgusting.

I think you’ll find that I’m qualified to deal with practically everything, if I choose. That last part, of course, is essential. –Devyn DuChien

A brick would make a great stocking stuffer at Christmas—especially if you chisel it out of the fireplace the stocking is hanging from. Let the homeowner know how much you care.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

You’d have been scared too if that big troglodyte had put his hands on you. He smelled like dirty socks and store brand cola.” Chet Andrews

People who have babies tell me I will know a love that is beyond anything I can imagine, and a joy that is indescribable. Love and joy? That sounds horrifying. I have no way of...

Feed me, you moron.

You’re such a pain in the ass. (Butch) Said the SIG to the Glock. (V)

I would hate to see seventeen people with monosyllabic names like Mike or Ann die, but if they did, and you wrote down all their names in groups of 5-7-5, you’d have one tragic haiku.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

If art can never offer levity, then I’ll have none of it!

To Garan’s credit, the treatment of Dellian prisoners did change after that. One particularly laconic man, after a session in which Fire learned positively nothing, thanked her for it specifically. “Best dungeons I ever been...

I just yawned. Now that is exciting. Almost as thrilling as making love to me thirty minutes after I’ve fallen asleep.

It was pretty miserable wretches that minded at all whether they were wet or dry. He could not understand why such people had been born. “It’s nothing but damned eccentricity to want to be dry”...