Don’t make fun of people who are different. Unless they have more money and influence. Then you must

Nothing builds confidence like live ammo.

Do you think heaven’s like that?Could be worse, said Serge. You know all those pushy people who keep telling us we’re not going to heaven? It could be full of them instead.

An ax came through the door. Then two firefighters. They looked down at and assistant mall manager crying and wearing a melted toupee, sitting cross-legged next to a mall cop with a bleeding ankle and...

But you have to understand, mental illness is like cholesterol. There is is good kind and the bad. Without the good kind- less flavor to life. Van Gogh, Beethoven, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Pink...

Always walk away from a fight. Then ambush.

…And another item from the growing file of people who voluntarily wear dunce caps… You’ll be talking cordially to someone and make an offhand reference, ‘I recently read where–‘ and they’ll cut you off and...

There was no Disney World then, just rows of orange trees. Millions of them. Stretching for miles And somewhere near the middle was the Citrus Tower, which the tourists climbed to see even more orange...

First, they set the hook with mind-bending kinky shit. Then a year later you’re living in a Talking Heads song, dressed like Teddy Ruxpin, living with a strange woman in a big house full of...

Nature’s what it’s all about, but our people have been brainwashed into thinking that life is a cell phone against your head and the TV on a beer commercial with hot chicks.

Look forward to the wonderment of growing up, raising a family and driving by the gas station where the popular kids now work.