He that lives upon hope will die farting.
Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is...
What happened next… well, I’m going to blame it on the fact that I was scared. And I had just flown or fallen or something through about eighty years worth of Time. Or maybe it...
A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.
—Michael Bassey Johnson
You stand out like a fart in church.
I don’t break wind—I repair it. I am the anti politician, because when one speaks, he farts through his mouth, and the people always suffer.
I’d like to think I’d never do a gratuitous fart joke.
There’s a place for farts, and there’s a place for sharts.
In real life I was alone, but in my dream I was in a crowd, and that’s why I farted. But being the gentleman that I am, I blamed it on your dad.
My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being...
A fart in the face is love.
Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.Come let us fart in the home.There is no art in a fart.Still a fart may not be artless.Let us fart and artless fart...
Pity, I’ve learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can’t stand anyone else’s.
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