This was one of those times that a pint just wouldn’t cut it.

If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.

I tried telling him without telling him, through body language, and I observed he was unobservant.

You’re under no obligation to accept my oppression, but it is strongly recommended. I’ll make you love me, even if I have to impoverish you and then imprison you. –Uncle Sam

If there’s grass on the pitch,” and gives his small cock a quick squeeze under the desk.

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!

I make love sensually, and without the aid of a fancy recipe. I just open the box, add water, stir a bit, and pop it in the oven.

Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against...

There are days when I don’t know how I live with myself. Those days are Sundays through Saturdays.

When I wear my wedding ring I think of her. I also think of my wife.

Kalist likes to listen to the collective voices swell as more individuals in his colony arrive.

The second orgasm has a biblical connotation.

We made love like an earthquake, which was nice because neither one of us had to do any work.

The expression ‘Those who can’t do, teach’ is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you’ll see that teachers aren’t particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the...

And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before–and thus was the Empire forged.

If two trees played each other, I don’t know who I’d root for. Probably the tree that’d make the better lover.

Veeva squirmed up and down the length of me, vibrating like a coin operated motel bed. When she stopped kissing my mouth, I said, “It sounds so great, Veeva. Just you and me with our...

The easiest way to make money is to be funny. The easiest way to be regarded as funny is to have money.

There’s nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you.

Is it painful?” the groundskeeper asked. “I am asking for science.

Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.

I’m older than myself. At least I will be, once my clone gets here.

What the fuck does he think he’s doing anyway? And when has running around in a figure eight ever helped anyone?

Women have no appreciation of good looks-at least, good women have not.

I know this sounds very Neanderthal but I want a man that would just take me, ravage me, and do what he pleases with me. I frankly don’t care what he does or how he...

She is so tiresome. ‘Am I a vampire, am I a wolf, am I a vampire, am I a wolf, I cannot decide, so I’ll be both!

Find out what people want to do, then tell them to do it. They’ll think you’re a genius.

Why have you left me, Yesterday? Was it because I slept with Today? I have a routine. Every day I do something different.

Look at this fog. The damp gets right into your bones. It’s doing my chest no good at all. I’ll need a vapour bath.” Bryant pulled down his scarf and peered over the sodden hedge....

The ages live in history through their anachronisms.

I had a dream about you. I was a professor, and you were my student. I taught sex education for college freshmen, and I didn’t think it unethical to trade good grades for sexual favors....

I hope you’re not smoking in front of her,’ Lucia says to him.’Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,’ he says, irritated.

It was almost noon when the plane touched down at the Triad airport on the outskirts of Greensboro. There was a hire car waiting for me; I waved my notepad at the dashboard to transmit...

She likes her wine white, and that’s how I like my clam chowder. So chuggable!

Tatiana is a ridiculously curvy thing of dreams, with smooth succulent thighs, long strawberry blond cascading beneath a teal bandana, and a nympho sparkle in her eyes that says pick me, lick me, spank me,...

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn’t there, and finding it.

Kissimmee has the best name, other than Hugsburg and Fornicatesville.

Inside a wool jacket the man had made a pocket for the treasure and from time to time he would jiggle the pocket, just to make sure that it was still there. And when on...

If I were a robot, and I got cheated on with a vacuum cleaner, I’d question my cleanliness. I’d also wonder if dating a beautiful yellow bulldozer was wise. Is my bulldozer nothing but a...

A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.

Don’t be bashful; we’re among gentlemen. It’s a known fact that we men are the missing link between the pirate and the pig.

What are American dry-goods? asked the duchess, raising her large hands in wonder and accentuating the verb.American novels, answered Lord Henry.

Rachel got up and did this happy little shuffle, like she was some cheerful farmer chick who’d just stepped outside to find the hick she was in love with coming up the road with a...

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

My date couldn’t make it to dinner, because at the last minute I backed down from asking her.

My thermos does such a good job of keeping my tea hot that it feels like I’m drinking iced tea.

I’m not sure if there’s one right place I’m supposed to be, he said, but I know a couple of wrong places I’d give a second try in a heartbeat.

Đàn bà trên bốn mươi luôn ẩn chứa những phẩm chất ma quái.

I would rather write a book without a title if my true friend chooses to live in a million dollar home in London and acts foreign.

I love Shark Week, where all kids under 12 swim for free