…Her body twitched from his magic. “What is this feeling?” She panted as she asked the question. Her body felt pleasantly soft. His motions slowed and became languid.”It’s called an orgasm,” he replied in that...

Her family had of late been exceedingly fluctuating. For many years of her life she had had two sons; but the crime and annihilation of Edward a few weeks ago, had robbed her of one;...

If I could make it better I would,” he says. In some ways it’s a stupid, obvious thing to say, but the way he said it, so honest and simple like it’s the truest thing...

Pegasus’s dad was poseidon, the god of the sea, and his mom was Medusa, and evil Gorgon who had fangs and lizard skin and living snakes for hair. And you thought your family was weird.

A nation’s not a child, for God’s sake. … It’s like a wild horse you tame by breaking it. Or a fiery woman you slap till she sees sense and warms your bed.

Charlene’s thoughts:I’m next in the green jumper’s Class. I thought I’d be in the red jumpers’ class because of my red hair.

The smell of new office supplies is so satisfying while being kicked out of Staples for inappropriate behavior with a file folder is so embarrassing.

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. — Dogbert’s Motto

You’ve got no sense of humor.””I’m going to laugh really hard after I kick your ass.

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

Either help or give up. Right now devil’s advocate is just another name for asshole.

Mummy can we keep him?” Madeleine asked with the wide eyes of a burgeoning crush.”Darling, little boys make terrible pets,” Mrs. Masterson offered with a wink.”That’s not true at all, Mummy. They’re hypoallergenic, much easier...

Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence.

Nothing mitigates the throes of depression like a steaming plate of spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce and grated parmasan cheese, with a good fresh bread to wipe up.

Nick‘s eyes widened as a total state of befuddled huh possessed him. Was he in theTwilight Zone?

Well, I always did want to go out in a Braveheart kind of way. I’ll just have to think of something cool to yell before they cut my head off.

And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It’s good for you.

Love speaks to the heart like a mime to a mute.

I love the newspaper. I love reading fiction.

… And what am I to do?””Well, that depends. Do you like the girl?””Like her? I don’t know. How do you know if…?””It’s very simple. Do you look at her furtively and feel like biting...

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?

Frank heard the glass of water thump on the stand that he now imagined might be beside the bed, which meant it was. Finally something firm to grasp, in his mind and with his hand....

Don’t alter my altar. I don’t believe you don’t believe.

A man’s love for a woman is not defined by his availability in bed, but by every ingredient he adds to improve the taste of the relationship.

In a lot of ways I am like a duck. I love the water; I have large, web-like feet; and I could never kill a man, unless that man tasted like soggy bread and I...

I loved her like the sun might say to the moon, “Stop stealing my light!”

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They’ll believe anything they see in print.

Don’t let your girlfriend cut your hair!

Percy?” Annabeth gripped his arm.”Oh, bad,” he muttered. “Bad. Bad.” He looked across the table at Frank and Hazel. “You guys remember Polybotes?””The giant who invaded Camp Jupiter,” Hazel said. “The anti-Poseidon you whacked in...

We fell in love like nobody’s business. I wish it was everyone’s business, so that I could have made money off it.

is that Rike can’t make an omelet without wading thigh deep in the blood of chickens and wearing their entrails as a necklace.

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.

A knight can fight. As you well know, I fight about as well as a pillow.””That’s an insult to pillows. At least they can take a beating.

I’m thinking there should be a dating site called “Tap That” – Jonathan “Jack” McVoy

She released her weapon with one hand, twisted around, and kissed him. It was the deepest she had ever kissed him. Blood filled his face, and he went limp at the touch of her lips....

I do a lot of business with businesses. And I do a lot of business with individuals. And guess what? It turns out the two are the same, as both are made up of only...

Get out of your mind and become crazy about your future in a creative way!

She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.

How far would I go to be friends with someone? Halfway.

Past age fifty-five, I experienced the advancement of exquisite fabric choices, paint distinctions that were celestial in scope, yet so many other man-made objects, such as people, became drab, redundant and boring.

Simon did not solve problems, he just shamed them into going away.

Here’s a towel to dry your tears. I just wiped my ass with it.

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

If I could sleep with any literary character, I’d love to sleep with The Cat in the Hat. But don’t tell Cap’n, because he might get jealous and meow at me.

All writers are insane!

Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama – Their father can order an assassination, don’t piss him off.

Television’s perfect. You turn a few knobs, a few of those mechanical adjustments at which the higher apes are so proficient, and lean back and drain your mind of all thought. And there you are...

I made a tactical error tonight with Wyatt.” She paused “Horizontally.” Sara laughed. “Again?

Everytime I read ‘Pride and Prejudice’ I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the stuff just lying around in my attic.