A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick.

On the corner of Cathedral Road a raven sat in a tree watching him. He knew it was Dorkus for two reasons. Firstly, he’d told Dorkus to stay there to keep an eye on Michael....

Shark!” But I’m telling you—as the Egyptian Queen careened to one side, its paddle wheel lifting completely out of the water, and I saw that monster emerge from the deep, I nearly discovered the hieroglyphs...

You’re adopted” smile.

I don’t know what the old you was like, but the new you, the older you than the old you, is new and fresh.

Don’t know. It’s never happened.

The long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead.

I naively believe that self-love is 80 percent of the solution, that it helps beyond words to take yourself through the day as you would with your most beloved mental-patient relative, with great humor and...

Well, well. You might just be my soul mate.

We need to gather everyone we can.Damien scoffed. Uh, boss, hate to be a pall, but I think everyone we can gather is currently in this room.Sin paused to look at Simi, Xirena, Damien, Kat,...

I have sewn my own destruction, and it looks like a cat sweater. I knitted matching pants too, because that’s what lovers do. My feelings for you melted in the ice cream cone, and I’m...

Sometimes I wonder if the human race isn’t collectively as mad as a sack of door knobs.

Two-thirds of all preachers, doctors and lawyers are hanging on to the coat tails of progress, shouting, whoa! while a good many of the rest are busy strewing banana peels along the line of march.

There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, ‘Do trousers matter?'””The mood will pass, sir.

There’s almost always a church youth group at the soup kitchen. I have yet to see an atheists’ youth group. Yeah, I know, religious people don’t have a monopoly on doing good. I’m sure that...

A brick could be used to unite two long-lost brothers. They’ve been apart for six inches, and that’s entirely too long, and I think it’d be good to bring them back together.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s...

All cows were like other cows, all tigers like all other tigers – What on earth happened to human beings?

Even first love dies.

I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it.

Suiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?”Oh, rather!”What do you do about it?”I generally take a couple of cocktails.

Trains are great dirty smoky things,” said Will. “You won’t like it.” Tessa was unmoved. “I won’t know if I like it until I try it, will I?” “I’ve never swum naked in the Thames...

A blanket could be used to rob a bank. Guns are so Bonnie and Clyde, but a blanket bank robbery has a certain amount of seduction involved. A blanket has a lot more banging involved...

Westley: This is true love — you think this happens every day?

The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.

My amazing feat features shoes (and feet)—it’s how far I’d walk for love. Guess how far? However far it is from the point I ran out of gas to wherever she is, assuming she’s hanging...

Women, they’re great for keeping the bed warm and the coffee hot. They’re also good at other things, like my job, which is why I’ll soon be fired—which is a bit too hot for me.

When good Americans die, they go to Paris,’ the ghost said, after taking a drag on a small cigarette.But you’re not dead. I suppose the question must be, are you good?

Most investigators don’t even know what the word means. You stop the cops from using informants and the only crimes they’d ever solve would be those by deranged postal workers who come to work once...

There’s always a bit of suspense about the particular way in which a given school year will get off to a bad start.

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

Children are like geniuses, only smarter. Ocala has more creative kids than any other city named Ocala. That’s scientific, because there is only one city named Ocala, and it was named after a city not...

You’re mine and I wouldn’t let you prostitute yourself for pizza. Now go put on a shirt,” I said, pulling two slices onto a plate.

I was on the floor. “Um, a little help?” Christopher put his hand down. Martini cleared his throat and Christopher’s hand retracted. “I can handle it, thanks.” “There’s nothing amorous about pulling someone off the...

Üzüm üzüme baka baka kararır mı? Yoksa kendi gibi olan diğer üzümlere bakmak yerine tutup da kara üzüme bakan bir üzüm, zaten teorik olarak kara mıdır?

I like ducks.” Jem observed diplomatically. “Esspecially the ones in Hyde Park.” He glanced side ways at Will; both boys were sitting at the edge of a high table, thier legs dangling over the side....

A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue .

Bah-Bah-black sheep, have you any soul?No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?

I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for it. Ha! Wait, a buyer who gets pennies on the dollar is the...

It’s always funny that you can try and try again to steal all your critics’ ammo, predict their responses, but no matter what, they’ll still have a water gun stashed somewhere.

Our love was so hot it could melt the polar ice caps. In fact, my passion’s probably to blame for global warming.

The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely...

You know that feeling you get when you pass by a cop doing like 20 over, when your stomach hits the floor and you get weak in the knees and it seams like time just...

Dude, I don’t want to talk about Lacey’s prom shoes. And I’ll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It’s called a penis.

An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread.But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored, you don’t want to eat dull wholesome food.You want something a little more colourful,...

My name is Mr. Raingold. But please, call me Money Showers.

What if a statue of me walked past my clone frozen in thought? Which one of the two would make a better quarterback than Geno Smith?

A brick is a mythical object that empowers its handler and enables them to conquer the world and control the globe through secret occult knowledge. Just ask the Masons.

People who discriminate understand that they are a stranger to others.

The only real recourse that [Russian] people had against tsarist rule was violence and rebellion. It was once remarked that Russia’s constitution was “absolutism moderated by assassination.