You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.

Men are so easy to manipulate, poor things.

I had a dream about you. Two empty benches sat on a man, and I jogged by but did not stop, because I knew if I did I’d fall asleep and that damn tortoise would...

I don’t understand humans.” Caradoc shook his head. “It takes their brightest minds decades to plan an unmanned voyage to the nearest planet, which can take a year to travel each way. Yet they expect...

Like…um, the Little Mermaid?

I’m willing to die for my beliefs, but over the course of a lifetime and not all at once right now.

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship—he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still...

A brick is……… Well it’s a bloody brick what more do you want from me?

Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.

I know a lot about forming personal connections with people. Not from, you know, personal interaction or anything, but from reading about it alone, in silence.

I ought to be jealous of the tower. She is more famous than I am.

But you can’t stay with people because of guilt. Or because they can drive a speedboat.

Make yourself interesting to history. Master some aspect of life, and then find a different area and do something crazy. Become a painter, then round up a herd of cattle and slaughter them with your...

An empty coffee cup is full of hope. Now there’s something worth voting for.

You may stay. But Jessica, please watch what you say and do. Don’t look them in the eyes for long. Speak only when spoken to. Yes, sir; yes, ma’am.””Sit up. Arf,” I teased.”What about her?”...

Ein Buch ist ein Spiegel wenn ein Affe hineinsieht so kann kein Apostel heraus gucken.

Just making the cement now, only takes five minutes.””I did it in four once,” Pauly whispered boastfully to Johnny, “but if I’m honest, I was never completely happy that it set properly.””Who was it for?””Big...

The earth has lots of love to give, if you just know where to dig. My advice is start in the cemetery.

Our whole family thrives under pressure. It’s like our family motto or something.Apart from my brother Peter, of course. He had a nervous break down. But the rest of us.

The most dangerous flower is one that grows on a grave. Everybody in its vicinity is dead. That’s why I hand-picked it for my mother-in-law.

Keep your wife happy by living in a slightly nicer house than your neighbor. And you can do this by living in a poorer neighborhood than you ever imagined.

Whenever I get that sad, depressed feeling, I go out and kill a policeman.

Oh well… I’d just been thinking, if you had died, you’d have been welcome to share my toilet.

I want a job with a great deal of freedom, like riding on the back of a bald eagle.

A blanket could be used to deliver the darkness on a platter of light. But I’d eat my unborn children straight out of your uterus with a straw before I’d ever be a delivery guy...

You know, most men would get discouraged by now. Fortunately for you, I am not most men!

I played hard for four quarters, and I took home a dollar. And with college being about pay to play, I earned my spot on the bench.

I had a dream about you. The seasons changed, but you did not. You were the same old person you always were, only older. And I was the same old person I always was, only...

Principal Principal: Where’s your late pass, mister?Errant Student: I’m on my way to get one now. PP: But you can’t be in the hall without a pass. ES: I know, I’m so upset. That’s why...

Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?’ someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country.

This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America

A brick could be used as a marketing tool. I’ll help you grow your business, if you help me plant this brick in the ground.

And what have I done?” What? WHAT?…You’ve stolen them.” With that, Cornelia fled, but Buttercup understood; she knew who “them” was. The boys. The beef-witted featherbrained rattledskulled clodpated dim-domed noodle-noggined sapheaded lunk-knobbed BOYS.

I was spotted at a Communist meeting. I got caught red-handed.

Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword.

I’m not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it’s Shakespeare — or, if not, it’s some equally brainy lad — who says that it’s always just when a chappie is feeling particularly...

Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong.

My wife and I aren’t a match. We’re a match and gasoline.

A brick could be used to grow your annual income by a factor of four. What, you don’t believe me? Are you calling me a liar?

Macho does not prove mucho.

When I went in the secret chamber, Thor was indeed there. A small room, the walls are entirely covered with loose slips of paper with math formulas on them, along with dirty napkins pinned up...

It’s impossible for me to applaud your successes when my hands are too busy patting myself on the back. But if I clap for you, and you pat my back, we can both feel like...

Everybody going to be dead one day, just give them time.

They’ll torture you for months before killing you if you run” Otis shrugged, as if this was an everyday occurrence.

All sorts of people are calling themselves kings these days.

Some people have lives; some people have music.

Helios thought he looked pretty hot, and he had an annoying habit of calling the sun his “chick magnet.

I went to a potluck. I brought my own pot—and luck. The pot was empty, just like my promise to bring food the next time.

I’m not really crazy about all this tit-for-tat stuff. I’m always asked to be the one to first give up the tit.

Some people say he engineered his own arrest to gain an insight into modern methods of policing for a thriller he had planned. But you know what happens to artistic rats in prison: they have...