We were surrounded by thirty-foot-tall giants who were about to kill us. Then the sky opened up, and the gods descended.””Grandad,” the kids said, “you are full of schist.” “I’m not kidding!” he protested.

Just so you know, I get incredibly bored quite easily and you will be forced to be my source of entertainment. You’ll kind of be like my own personal jester.”I flipped him off.”Well that wasn’t...

Portia followed after, a smirk on her face, and Syc hissed as he passed.Donegan waited till they were gone, then swung round to Gracious.”He hissed at me.””He hissed at you.””Should I hiss back?””It’s a bit...

Oh, my dear! I’m afraid you’ve mistakenme for someone else! My name is Rhea Silvia. I was the mother to Romulus and Remus, thousands of years ago. But you’re so kind to think I look...

I am a vicious and unrepentant killer who should be locked up. With him, my idiot boyfriend.

Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

Hey, yummy leather guy? Can you hear me? (Amanda)

How very wet this water is.

I’ve been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won’t move his car.

Nothing like that.

Don’t you just hate that, you meet a girl she seems pretty nice, you tell all your friends and before you know it she turns out to be a vampire, don’t you just hate it...

Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.

PRECOGNITION, TELEPATHY, BULLSHIT! EAT MY DONG, YOU EXTRASENSORY TURKEY!

Ender began to eat, slowly and carefully, pretending not to notice he was the center of attention.

Captain Jibby looked at the door, clenched his teeth, and worked his face into a scowl so fierce you would think the door had insulted his mother – which, for the record, it had not.

So, Americans, then. Self-appointed vigilante defenders of the world, kind of like Superman, if Superman was retarded and only fought crime when he felt like it.

No other foreskin could have caused such trouble.

maybe somebody finally shot the dog.

Famous people steal my quotes all of the time without knowing; none of it is ever very interesting though.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll still be mathematically challenged.

I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all,” Amelie said.

Alec licked his spoon, then set it on the table and popped his drink open. “Okay, I may be breaking some kind of girl bonding rule or something, but can I offer you a guy’s...

I want to write a book about shoes that’s full of footnotes.

‘Tim and Raine are coming in.’ ‘Are they insane?’ ‘Apparently.’

He was right. The annoying Disney song was right. The universe was too fucking small.

Whoa, Rebecca,” Talia said smiling even wider, “Walking on the wild side, are we?”Raisa seemed to think the situation needed more explaining. “He – uh – I’m tutoring him.””She is,” Han said solemnly. “She’s very...

We’re adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you’re counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even.

It’s awful bad luck to bring a woman aboard the ship.””It’s awful worse luck not to.

I want to be more like James Bond, and less like Ian Fleming.

But after dealing with Roy for a while I just wanted to get through the time I’d signed on for, to prove to myself that I couldn’t be beaten by a girly-faced, chicken-boned, racist cat.

Pictures in women’s self-defense books never show women kicking other women. The idea is to leave something to the imagination.

I don’t need love. I live in a forest. The quiet is my companion. The cold is my warmth. My heart once suffered from frostbite, but I removed and replaced it with a fuel pump.

For if it is rash to walk into a lion’s den unarmed, rash to navigate the Atlantic in a rowing boat, rash to stand on one foot on top of St. Paul’s, it is still...

Saw a headline: ‘Killers Executed In Three States.’ How is drawing out their executions like that not cruel and unusual punishment???

You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. You know, poets and songwriters have long known that people like repetition. I guess when I say people, I mean everyone but my...

If you’re in the position to help someone and you do it, it’s very rewarding.

In an opposite universe, the iconoclast creates the icon. – Why We Couldn’t Possibly Be Living in an Opposite Universe, Reason 11.9

Go ahead, stick it in my butt.” Love is much more than that. Love is also a logo. I know, because I have it tattooed on my ass.

I can’t even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

Man has become a tool of his tools? Man, what a tool.

I am the Guillotine of Love, and I will never lose my head over another woman again.

To the stupidity of men, ” Dakota said, raising a glass. “And my brother, who is their king.

Kiss the girls and make them neither confirm nor deny.

Agatha’s love had wings like a penguin. Certainly this was a plus in the cold winter months. But our relationship never really took flight. It was grounded like a 747 minus 748.

If by chance some day you’re not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I’ve said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart,...

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.

If I were alone with my clone, and we were enjoying each others’ solitude, I’d have finally have met a man with whom I could hold a conversation consisting entirely of the repetitive response, “Yes,...

I’ve got everything ready to go,” I said once he was finally awake and dressed.All the tenderness and vulnerability was gone from his face when he said, “Go where?””America?”His eyes narrowed. “This is America.””This is...

Critics claim to see no evidence of CIA’s new policy of transparency. Well duh.