Science and discovery, especially in the field of non-abnormal pediatric mysteries, is built on the work of those who have been sneezed on before us. Causation and rationale may someday be reached, but until then...

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

There are shades of schadenfreude. My favorite shade is bright red, from a haughty spanking.

If his drunkenness had legs, it would be Alexander the Great and conquer the known world. Then it would puke for a week into a solid gold toilet it stole from Zeus’s guest room.

Take a picture ladies, it lasts longer.” he mutters

The important thing to remember is that bugs don’t actually talk.

She went back to Shane and settles in on his lap again, arm around his neck. His circled her waist. “I thought you had to go,” he said. “And don’t think i didn’t see you...

I mean, I’ve sold all these scripts and nothing’s been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don’t get made.

Oh please,” Scout said.”Don’t take that tone with me. You know you’d love to have a minion. Someone at your beck and call. Someone to do your bidding. How many times have you said to...

Mr Moss’s courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.

Heat radiated off Henry’s face. Salty snot ran down his upper lip. A majestic fart propelled him to the top of Section 12, just at the springing of the stadium’s curve. He slapped the sign...

To get faster and better service, ring a bell. It’s the same principal as honking at someone in traffic. People respond well to it, and they seem to really enjoy it.

Hyperbolic statements will be the death of us all

To the issues of friendship, love, business and war, “surprise” is the optimistic solution.

Dave? This is John. Your pimp says bring the heroin shipment tonight, or he’ll be forced to stick you. meet him where we buried the Korean whore. The one without the goatee.”That was code. It...

Americans accept that gangsters are running the government.

I don’t beg for those things which can be earned.

Can you break my five-dollar bill into five singles? Women love guys with lots of money.

I’ve used drugs that I do consider to be dangerous, drugs that are potentially detrimental to kids and society at large.

This is where you all live?” Asked John as they ascended the stairs. “It’s small.””This is just our Thanksgiving house,” Scott muttered. “We have a house for every day of the year.

Quote from In Love of Honey, Money….and My Virgin PassportIf you think you’ve the most wicked sense of humour, try life!

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

Even as zombies, ridiculous prom gowns were the downfall of teenage girls, crippling them at the knees.

The doctor’s name was Sylvia. I told her she’d have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother’s name.

Hollywood is like Picasso’s bathroom.

You can’t make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.

I left home because I was hungry.

We came to an agreement, the duck and I.

As a lover I aim to please, and afterwards I aim at the toilet. Sometimes I miss, but no matter what, you’ll always receive splatters of intimacy.

Careful with the accusations of insanity, oh my lady whose home is a tower with windows of brick, all for the sake of some skinny-ankled, laugh-prone boy of a khan.

doplní Nick.

Bella,leave the aggressive stuff to me.” My heart quirks in my chest. I may not like this guy but that sounded so hot. “Um…” Focus,focus. “What?

I’m the master of distractions. A couple of hand gestures and BAM! I’ll pull the underwear clean off your butt.

Although we dealt decisively with all terrorist organizations, we at the same time not only maintained, preserved our democracy, but kept improving it.

I say, `Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose,and come to look round the torture-chamber! Aha, aha, aha!

Even her pink bunny slippers seem to prick up their ears.Diary of a Penguin-napper (p. 15)

When a boy’s first romantic interlude is with Pheobe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life.

Love is an intense flickable mystery, like a booger.

Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal.

Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my tongue. It had such a distinctive feel, neither cuspid nor molar…but...

I’m not saying I’m not saying. I’m also not saying I’m in love, and I’m not not saying I’m in love.

She wore so much thick white makeup in order to conceal her naturally rosy complexion that if she turned around suddenly her face would probably end up on the back of her head.

Great, I can look forward to having a swiss cheese wardrobe.

Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have…undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It’s because he...

I never wanted to do political satire because it seems too surface to me.

There’s a reason caveman started to develop sophisticated tools before the meteor wiped them all out: It’s so they could fucking shave. Do you know how frustrating it must have been to be hunched over...

Really, it’s amazing. You are his other half, Alexandria, You are fated to be with him. You belong to him.”It felt like something sat heavy on my chest. “Oh.Oh.No.”Seth frowned at me. “You don’t have...

Alas! Charles made the promise glibly, and forgot all about it.

Would you like a name of a good doctor who will schedule your little snip-snip operation?”she bit out.