Los Angeles is a city made up of refugees from better cities.

I guess we all travel through life in a haze of sorts. A fog. The people we only meet in the fog we allow ourselves to lose because it’s not our fault. It’s the fog’s....

That’s crazier than a boatload of prostitutes!

The difference between extras and audience members is that audience members don’t get chairs. Audience members are the daylaborers of the industry. When it’s sunny, we stand in the sun. When it’s cold, we stand...

work.” You know what’s fun, indie filmmakers? Being paid for your time.

You can’t make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.

No man wants his daughter to be the kind of girl whom he liked in high school.

I try not to let other people’s problems problem me.

I love animals, especially with barbeque sauce.

You have to think if we’ve been visited by extraterrestrial life, it was like a zookeeper walking into the chimp enclosure: He looks around, takes some pictures, then leaves without interacting significantly with the environment....

[Truman] didn’t want to fight the guy, whatever he was—alien, vampyr or douchebag.

If you could talk to God, He wouldn’t be God.

I love Las Vegas because it’s the one city less classy than Los Angeles.

Life…. It’s better than the alternative.