Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.

There is no night life in Spain. They stay up late but they get up late. That is not night life. That is delaying the day. Night life is when you get up with a...

We were still twirling around the tiny parking lot when the neighborsscreamed ‘Happy New Year’. Unfortunately we weren’t sober enough torealize that was our cue to call it a night. Josh had a new beer...

Drinking Shirley Temple with my Mary Janes on, let’s say that every possibility waits

Piano Man put up a fight but his resistance was futile. Hell hath no fury like a drunken girl at her bachelorette party in the mood to sing.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Guilt is also a way for us to express to others that we are a person of good conscience. ‘I feel really guilty about getting drunk last night,’ we say, when in actual fact we...

She takes another sip of her drink. She looks around the bar. I look at the fine muscles in her neck, at the two points of her clavicle. Her grief has not so much changed...

Besides, she was alone and those who drink alone, she decided, had no need of any impediments to the pure act of consumption.

If my liver cared enough, it would have told me to stop. – Jonathan “Jack” McVoy

I rarely drink, but last night, after several hours and several beers at the bar, I found myself face to face with two huge boobs. They weren’t the breasts of a young woman, but those...

I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?

The cup was empty, but I didn’t drink it because nothing is impossible to drink. So instead, I drank nothing. Nothing is impossible to drink, except nothing.

I drank the coffee because I was tired. I also drank the coffee because I was dominant, and it was passive and put up no fight.

Learn how to read by taking small sips first. Drink my watery literary nipples.

There is something about gin, the tang in it of the deep wildwood, perhaps, that always makes me think of twilight and mists and dead maidens. Tonight it tinkled in my mouth like secret laughter.

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in...

Elliot Rawley was a drinker, Cy’s mother had been right. And he was a poor drinker. One that let the demons of the bottle into his head when he tipped it back, demons that went...

Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Ivanov: Gentlemen, you’ve again set up a drinking shop in my study… I have asked each and every one of you a thousand times not to do that… Look now, you’ve spilt vodka on a...

I don’t drink to make others look better, I just drink to make myself feel prettier.

Mulled ale for the frozen man,And mulled ale for the weary:For mulled ale is the body’s friendAnd makes the sick heart merry.

I just invented a device that eliminates vice. It looks like a bottle of booze, only it’s empty, because I just drank it.

Rick feels almost the way he used to halfway through his third drink, his favorite moment, the way he wishes all moments in life could feel: heightened with the sense that anything could happen at...

Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve got better ways of stirring, like renting Michael Phelps’ 400 IM time.

When I see a cop’s lights behind me at two in the morning, and I have my disco ball dangling from my rearview mirror, it’s like, Hey, a party! Especially if I’ve been drinking.

I drank so much booze I was bamboozled. Alcohol makes my mind as discombobulated as love makes my heart. I’d sure appreciate it if you poured me a large glass of romance.

I think you polished that one off after last week’s date.” His voice is low right next to my ear, very nearly causing a shiver.

How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle,And it is the result of a certain turbulence in the mind and an uncertain burbulence in the middle.What was it, anyway, that angry...

When a man wants to have an alehouse meltdown, the worst thing you can do is stand in his way

Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector…and miss.

I think piracy is a bit like drinking. You want to stay out all night doing it, you pay the price the next day.

They’re professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers, no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don’t...

What is this thing you call substance abuse? All I wanna do is forget and get loose.Drinking and smoking over and overWhat’s so great about a life that’s sober?There’s nothing cool about being youngWhen the...

I knew what Charley would do. He would spend the evening drinking himself into the mindset of a cinder block. If they had given him as much as a hundred bucks, it would be a...

And even in the open air the stench of whiskey was appalling. To this fiendish poison, I am certain, the greater part of the squalor I saw is due. Many of these vermin were obviously...

I distrust a man that says when. If he’s got to be careful not to drink to much it’s because he’s not to be trusted when he does.

I admit I get the occasional headache,” I said. “I admit some of my hangovers are epic. But usually all it takes for me to bounce back is a sauna, cold-plunge pool, steam bath, massage,...

The no-booze rule is one of several shams perpetuated by certain religious groups, presumably to keep their flocks in line. After all, what’s a shepherd to do with drunk sheep? So take your medicine, but...

Your pony, he said as he stomped toward me. “I’m the farrier who is here to fix your pony.””I thought you were a Hells Angel,” I said.”I used to be,” he replied. “But fighting all...

The drink you like the best should be the drink you drink the most.

I was a fool, alone, preparing to do what every fool did at such times—I was going to a bar to drink myself smart.

I loved the full heat of being drunk, like I was made of melting chocolate and spreading in all directions.

I’m Invisible”—I’ll likely pass out, and that would ruin all my fun.

Intoxication, like sexual euphoria, is the privilege of the human animal.

I began drinking because the thought that I was drinking gave me a kind of identity: each time I poured myself a brandy in the deserted afternoon I could say to myself ‘I am a...

Sensible people advise against drinking on an empty stomach, but to my mind it is the best sort of drinking.