Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He’ll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He’ll live his days where the sunbeams start,...

If I didn’t care for fun and such,I’d probably amount to much.But I shall stay the way I am,Because I do not give a damn.

Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,Painter or plumber or never-do-well,Do me a favor and shut your face -Poets alone should kiss and tell.

Inventory:”Four be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I’d been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and...

And if my heart be scarred and burned,The safer, I, for all I learned.

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,a medley of extemporanea,And love is a thing that can never go wrong,and I am Marie of Romania.

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

Little WordsWhen you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf,Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds;And I can only stare, and shape my griefIn little words.I cannot conjure loveliness, to drownThe bitter woe...

One more drink and I’d have been under the host.

MenThey hail you as their morning starBecause you are the way you are.If you return the sentiment,They’ll try to make you different;And once they have you, safe and sound,They want to change you all around.Your...

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

I won’t telephone him. I’ll never telephone him again as long as I live. He’ll rot in hell, before I’ll call him up. You don’t have to give me strength, God; I have it myself....

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

I know that an author must be brave enough to chop away clinging tentacles of good taste for the sake of a great work. But this is no great work, you see.

I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I’m under the table,after four I’m under my host.

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

Eternity is two people and a ham”) is an old quip from the days when a ham was huge—far more than two people could finish. Irma Rombauer mentions this line in her famous cookbook, The...

Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.

A Very Short Song Once, when I was young and true, Someone left me sad- Broke my brittle heart in two; And that is very bad. Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a...

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains 🙂

I find her anecdotes more efficacious than sheep-counting, rain on a tin roof, or alanol tablets…. you will find me and Morpheus, off in a corner, necking.

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

[On Oscar Wilde:]”If, with the literate, I amImpelled to try an epigram,I never seek to take the credit;We all assume that Oscar said it.[Life Magazine, June 2, 1927]

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If wild my breast and sore my pride,I bask in dreams of suicide,If cool my heart and high my headI think ‘How lucky are the dead.

The sun’s gone dim, and the moon’s gone black. For I loved him, and he didn’t love back.

But I give you my word, in the entire book there is nothing that cannot be said aloud in mixed company. And there is, also, nothing that makes you a bit the wiser. I wonder–oh,...

The cure for boredom is curiosity.There is no cure for curiosity.

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before...

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.

I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, “How gay ‘twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree.

Where’s the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course,...

Je ne peux être juste pour les livres qui traitent de la femme en tant que femme… Mon idée c’est que tous, aussi bien hommes que femmes, qui que nous sayons, nous devons être considérés...

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

God, the bitter misery that reading works into this world! Everybody knows that – everbody who IS everybody. All the best minds have been off reading for years. Look at the swing La Rouchefoucauld took...

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

I shudder at the thought of men….I’m due to fall in love again

The TriflerDeath’s the lover that I’d be taking;Wild and fickle and fierce is he.Small’s his care if my heart be breaking-Gay young Death would have none of me.Hear them clack of my haste to greet...

All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

I don’t know,” she said. “We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and everything, but I thought everything would be so different as soon as you were married....