Where’s the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course,...

Je ne peux être juste pour les livres qui traitent de la femme en tant que femme… Mon idée c’est que tous, aussi bien hommes que femmes, qui que nous sayons, nous devons être considérés...

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

God, the bitter misery that reading works into this world! Everybody knows that – everbody who IS everybody. All the best minds have been off reading for years. Look at the swing La Rouchefoucauld took...

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

I shudder at the thought of men….I’m due to fall in love again

The TriflerDeath’s the lover that I’d be taking;Wild and fickle and fierce is he.Small’s his care if my heart be breaking-Gay young Death would have none of me.Hear them clack of my haste to greet...

All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Ducking for apples — change one letter and it’s the story of my life.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

I don’t know,” she said. “We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and everything, but I thought everything would be so different as soon as you were married....

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

I hate writing, I love having written.

‎Oh, anywhere, driver, anywhere – it doesn’t matter. Just keep driving.It’s better here in this taxi than it was walking. It’s no good my trying to walk. There is always a glimpse through the crowd...

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.

She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.

Be you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you–And if that makes you happy, kid,You’ll be the first it ever did.

She realizes she doesn’t know as much as God but feels she knows as much as God knew when he was her age.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

There’s life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

To keep something, you must take care of it. More, you must understand just what sort of care it requires. You must know the rules and abide by them. She could do that. She had...

There’s a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]

Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studdedwheelchair.

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it’s always just my luck to get one perfect rose.

tomorrow’s gone-we’ll have tonight!

RésuméRazors pain you,Rivers are damp,Acids stain you,And drugs cause cramp.Guns aren’t lawful,Nooses give,Gas smells awful.You might as well live.

Hold your pen and spare your voice.

Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them, more easily each time, so easily, soon,...

I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.

He’ll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don’t like you to cry. He doesn’t cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry...

By the time you swear you’re his,Shivering and sighing.And he vows his passion is,Infinite, undying.Lady make note of this –One of you is lying.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘cheque enclosed.

You think You’re frightening me with Your hell, don’t You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.

I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.

It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day.

Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw — I don’t say she will but she can.

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

Some men break your heart in two,Some men fawn and flatter,Some men never look at you;And that cleans up the matter.

In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you...

And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.

Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you’ll live through the night.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He’ll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He’ll live his days where the sunbeams start,...

If I didn’t care for fun and such,I’d probably amount to much.But I shall stay the way I am,Because I do not give a damn.

Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

Prince or commoner, tenor or bass,Painter or plumber or never-do-well,Do me a favor and shut your face -Poets alone should kiss and tell.

Inventory:”Four be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I’d been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and...