I wish all those who’ve found God, would tell the rest of us where he’s been hiding.

Today someone asked me if that old stereotype about hot-headed Italians is true. I answered this way: About 2,000 years ago, there was a guy running around hollering about peace & love … and we...

Writing is the dragon that lives underneath my floorboards. The one I incessantly feed for fear it may turn and devour my ass. Writing is the friend who doesn’t return my phone calls; the itch...

Mass shootings are all part of a vast Left-wing conspiracy to undermine the 2nd Amendment and deprive your 6-year-old of his God-given right to bring a Bushmaster to class for “show and tell” … The...

Lately the muse has been treating me like Ike treated Tina.

I believe a Christian muffler shop owner should have the same right to refuse service to a gay couple, as a gay lifeguard has to refuse service to a drowning Christian.

Everything’s a bad metaphor for sex.

99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I’d trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

I want an avowed atheist in the White House. When time comes to push that button, I want whoever’s making the decision to understand that once it’s pushed, it’s over. Finito. They’re not gonna have...

Religious freedom doesn’t include the freedom to disregard the law and restrict another’s freedom to believe and act differently. No one’s forcing Catholic nuns to practice birth control, or priests to wear condoms (good idea...

If you’re gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you’ve crossed it first.

If Heaven actually exists, I don’t need anyone to be my real estate broker. After all, what is religion but an attempt to sell you a share in the ultimate gated community?

One thing I love about politicians; they won’t allow the truth to be obscured by a bunch of facts.

If a person has no conscience, it’s called being a sociopath. If a corporation has no conscience, it’s called capitalism.