Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset...

If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of...

I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged. Help. I’ve drowned the Beast Lord.

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don’t look awful this time.Me (Ilona): …~A little later~Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen*Kid 1: Hey, you’ve got to see these pies....

Rene, you want us to find you-don’t-know-who and to retrieve his you-don’t-know-what for you-won’t-tell-me-whom?

On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you’re getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt.

I’ll be busy for the next eight weeks, so let’s set this for November 15th.MENUI want lamb or venison steak. Baked potatoes with honey butter. Corn on the cob. Rolls. And apple pie, like the...

The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed.”See?” Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. “That’s how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do...

Oh, Gods.”His eyes shone with want and predatory satisfaction. “The name’s William. It’s a common mistake.

I’ll call you,” he repeated.”If you call me, I won’t pick up the phone.””You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak...

Hold your horses. I’m coming.”…”From where I’m standing you’re just breathing laboriously.”The snow swam out of focus. “Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You’ve got to get your one-liners straight.

You’re right, my problems are the biggest problems ever,” George said. “No, honestly, it’s horrible to be me. I’m rich, talented, and I make girls cry.””How do you make girls cry, exactly?”George turned to her....

Say ‘pop.'” “Pop?” “That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass.

Andrea raised her eyebrows. “Look at you, all high-speed.””Yeah, you’d think I was a detective or something.”Andrea held her hand out. “You’ll jinx it.

Secret to what?””Secret to shutting you up,” he said. “I just have to beat you till you’re half-dead, then give you chicken soup and”–he raised his hands–“blessed silence.

He glued the chair to my ass.”Silence.”Is it still…attached?””I can’t get it off.

Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie.

In there?’She nodded.’You want us to go into the tortoise?’Another nod.’It’s alive.’Another nod.

Did I hurt you in the parking lot?””No, m’lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car.”Great.

I paused with the pen in my hand. “He burst into flames?””He became engulfed in fire.””Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, ‘It’s clobbering time’?

Our standard rate. A doubloon a day.”It was generous. More than generous–some families would put him up for a week for a single coin.”Half a doubloon a day,” she said.”No, you see, the idea behind...

Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.

You think he’s got ‘government badass’ tattooed on his chest?” I murmured.A faint grimace skewed Luther’s mouth. “And ‘I’d tell you but I’d have to kill you’ on his ass.

You sure you don’t need your Prince Charming to come and save you?” The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. “Sure, do you have one handy?

Two hours. More than enough time to kidnap a man. Or to slice his throat, bury him in the forest, and steal his magic project. How the hell did de Harven fit into it? Did...

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we’ll kill everything.

Aha,” Andrea said. “I’m going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as ‘sugar woogums’.

How are you?””Perfectly fine,” he said.”Are your ribs broken?””Probably not. Cracked at most. We fought very carefully.””Did this settle anything?””It made me feel better,” he said, sitting up. “Did you see me kick him in...

When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you head high […]

Any messages for me?” Usually I got one or two, but mostly people who wanted my help preferred to talk in person.”Yes. Hold on.” She pulled out a handful of pink tickets and recited from...

I know you’ll tell me to fuck off, but I think Curran loves you. Truly loves you. And I think you love him, Kate. That’s rare. Think about it–if he really stood you up, why...

The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles.

Doode,” George said.He’d practiced all morning but still didn’t get it quite right. “Nope, more u, less oo. Duuude.””Dude.””Dude.””Okay, dude.” George nodded. “How’s it hanging?” Jack asked. “How am I supposed to answer that?” George...

I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent.

Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring hikers out in the Broken into thinking he was Bigfoot.

One day, she’d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it.

If you don’t explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody.” Of course, Raphael might like that…

They had picked up Julie’s scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great....

Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack Jeep I called Hector. Equipped with dual engines, Hector worked during magic or tech. He didn’t go very...

At the door, Audrey called, “Are you coming?””No, just breathing hard, love.” He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, “Oh, my God!

They really kicked me out?” “Refunded the tuition and everything.” Julie blinked a couple of times coming to grips with this tidbit. “So what happens now?” “I expect you’ll be a bum. Homeless and jobless...

It became known that I had a rather fertile imagination, when it came to private activities.”She stared. “What sort of private activities?”This time he did smile, and it turned his face wicked. “Disrobe, and I’ll...

I’ve read your summary.””And?””It’s not incompetent.”Be still, my heart, so I don’t faint from such faint phrase. “Did you expect it to be written in crayon?

Dear rabbis, I’m so sorry, I nuked your circle dude. Here is his head as a souvenir. Yeah, that would fly.

Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare.I leaned a little toward Luther. “Is this the part where I faint in fear?”Luther bit his lip. “He might...

Well, check this out. Mine is bigger.

This doesn’t mean you’re getting a discount.”Audrey heaved a mock sigh. “Oh well. I guess I’ll have to ply you with sexual favors, then.”Gnome choked on the soup. “I’m old enough to be your grandfather!”Audrey...

Getting a lecture on restraint from the woman who threw a hissy fit and blew up Babylon.

So, regarding that tidbit about your having a fertile imagination when it comes to private activities,” she said, fighting off anxiety. “Was it another lie?””Depends on how you look at it. It’s not exactly a...

I know it’s late, but could you find a book for me? It’s called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev.”Barabas sighed dramatically. “Kate, you make me despair. Let’s try that again from the...