A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
snips and snails and puppydog tails.
Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.
A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.
Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It’s gossip
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
Housework can kill you if done right.
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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