I said to him, “State your business, mortal!” There was no need for me to call him “mortal” or to speak like a sixteenth-century knight. It just sounded cool.

I am beyond good and evil at this point. I am beyond the lines drawn in the sand by society at this juncture. I am beyond fear, beyond religion, beyond the morals and mores. I...

The sooner the rebirth, the prettier the corpse.

It’s more useful to have someone fear you than respect you.

I could not be a zombie. They had no thoughts. Their brains were gruel. They said little beyond “Brrr!” unable, even, to articulate completely what they sought.”Brains,”I said distinctly. “And I feel no burning urge...

Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.

Nobody knew exactly how the zombification process worked, and there were as many different strains as theories.

I’m not the one going for a biology degree. I’m just a philosophy major who eats people.

It is meant to be survival of the fittest, not survival of the most floral.

You got what you deserved. Now be a man and confess to what most of us already know.

She watched as the dancing lights of madness swirled and flickered in his eyes like the fires of hell, and she knew that there would never be anything that could quench those fires except death....

N-not much. You know, reanimated corpses chasing me on a cruise ship. Same old.

Zombies are the ideal late twentieth-century monsters. A zombie is the one thing you can’t deal with. It survives anything. Frankenstein’s monster and Dracula could be sent down in so many ways. Zombies, though, fall...

But that doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

The sound came again. There was a whistle to it, and a moan. It was almost a hiss, and it could’ve been a strangled gasp. Above all, it was quiet, and it seemed to have...

Indeed, one concern would be that the initial neoconservative response to a zombie outbreak would be to invade Iraq again out of force of habit.

I went for the door and opened it, not wanting to see how much this corpse was willing to destroy to get into my bedroom. His body probably would’ve crumbled to pieces before he got...

Alive or dead, the truth won’t rest. Rise up while you can.

Good french cooking cannot be produced by a zombie cook.

You know, surprisingly, they don’t sell a lot of brains in the local 24-hour grocery store around the corner from my house.

…a bar he sometimes sneaked into called The Slab. (They served bloody marys and zombies – stiff drinks they called them – and the jukebox only played dirges. A spotlight pinned dead go-go boys in...

Must you always speak with so many pop culture references?””I must, yes, but no one’s making pop culture anymore, so I’m starting to feel dated. I haven’t seen a new movie in two years. And...

If you can cut the head off of this broom-goober with that sword, then I’ll believe you can gank zombies with it.

Nothing says you care like sending someone a kitten.

Are we all just Dark Age doctors, swearing by our leeches? We crave a greater science. We want to be proven wrong.

New York City in life was much like New York City in death. It was still hard to get a cab, for example.

To be in love is to be in two places at once. Zombies and Schrödinger’s cat are also in two places at once.

Nico then leaned into Katty, and kissed her. He kissed her with every ounce of Vampire strength, pressing his lips forward into hers, feeling her slight breath and her soft lips touch against his with...

Jett Gallatin expected trouble in Alsop, Texas—but not zombies.

And then everything was in the hands of gravity, which has never had much love for the terminally stupid.

My Heart’s still beating for you—Very Dark and Always.

Walking out in the middle of a funeral would be, of course, bad form. So attempting to walk out on one’s own was beyond the pale.

And then I heard the ring of metal on concrete, and I went cold, because one of them had found a piece of rebar lying around, and I knew with sudden certainty that these guys...

A cemetery?” I chuckle, but the pitch is a bit higher than I expected. “At night? With a full moon? Um … did you see any, uh, zombies, you, while you were there?”Shiko blinks at...

They were all looking at him with an unpronounceable hunger. Actually it was a lot like the faces you see in porn, but with less certainty of the course of action. It was as if...

Then he said in his most excellent Mick impression, “Your powers are useless against Ninja Lords, O great zombie hunter! Surrender or feel the sting of the shuriken!

The world is truly a terrible place. Every one of my generation is lost, filling the holes which are their lives with seditious and yet passionless acts of unnecessary drama. It is a world of...

Even in death she was more beautiful to him than she ever was alive.

If I could make one wish, I wouldn’t ask for world peace. I’d wish for a real zombie apocalypse. I’ll take Romero zombies any day over this counterfeit harmony bullshit.

Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing.

So you killed him with what now?””I tried that Dr. Phil book at first”…”And I finished it off with the toilet seat. Just so you know, you left it up again. That drives me crazy.

Son of a Merryweather, he’s a lot stronger than he looks.

being metaphors” whose sole purpose is to represent things in the real world; they eat the real world.

The return of the rain, beating out time on London’s rooftops and pavements. Early morning Zombies sheltering beneath copies of the Standard whilst others ran screaming for cover in doorways because water from the heavens...

If you’re going to survive this, the first rule you need to learn is never count on anyone but yourself. Never. People make mistakes, and the zombies are fast. They don’t need to sleep or...

Nothing good is free, and nothing free is good. You want the world to change, you have to force that change behind gun smoke and lead. Blood is the price, always and ever, if you...

If I can face a street full of rabid zombies, I can tell a boy I like him. Right?

Zombies are the liberal nightmare. Here you have the masses, whom you would love to love, appearing at your front door with their faces falling off; and you’re trying to be as humane as you...

What’s more insane? Hearing imaginary voices? Or not hearing the real ones?

OMG YOU GUYS it has come to my attention that SOMEONE on the internet is saying that my fictional 19th century zombies are NOT SCIENTIFICALLY SOUND. Naturally, I am crushed. To think, IF ONLY I’d...