Excuse me if I feel skeptical,’ I said. ‘Coach’s foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?

I wanted to beat the heck out of the JV guys for that, except I wouldn’t know what to do in a fistfight without a manual.

That puke was the most wonderful thing I’d ever seen. It was green and a little red. Technicolor, really, the color puke is supposed to be. It definitely wasn’t black, and it didn’t smell like...