Employees go to school for 12 – 18 years merely to impress prospect employers in a 12 – 18 minutes interview.

I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn’t have a sense of humor. He never has anything funny in his stories.

Today, it’s possible to read both erotica and books written for children without fear of social castigation.

I think that my job is to observe people and the world, and not to judge them. I always hope to position myself away from so-called conclusions. I would like to leave everything wide open...

It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.

Harry and Hermione are very platonic friends. But I won’t answer for anyone else, nudge-nudge wink-wink!

An intensely gripping narrative…expertly crafted and totally addictive…a must read!

If you want to change something by Tuesday, theater is no good. Journalism is what does that.But, if you want to just alter the chemistry of the moral matrix, then theater has a longer half-life.

How did I discover saccharin? Well, it was partly by accident and partly by study. I had worked a long time on the compound radicals and substitution products of coal tar… One evening I was...

98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed.

If you get too excited about any one interview, you’re making a mistake, because people do cancel.

Portia remembered her interview in the small office upstairs…in which she had been so shy, so terrified about not being good enough, not getting this thing, this chance, which she had only just discovered she...

I use this as a paradigm for our whole attitude toward life, what you did was you worked very hard, you try to understand and try to direct these complicated, powerful forces and at the...

I am an atheist, out and out. It took me a long time to say it. I’ve been an atheist for years and years, but somehow I felt it was intellectually unrespectable to say one...

Outside of the killings, DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

I don’t believe in process. In fact, when I interview a potential employee and he or she says that ‘it’s all about the process,’ I see that as a bad sign. The problem is that...

I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor.

If heaven really exists: then heaven is the job, hell is unemployment, while life is merely an interview.

Stirton’s work, he says, is now all about investigation. ‘You literally are trying to find out what’s happening and, finally, manoeuvre yourself to the point where you can take a picture, and then you’re presented...

I’m a little bit naked, but that’s okay.

It’s going very well and it will be finished when I write the words ‘The End’.

I think that perhaps if I had had to slow down the ideas so that I could capture them on paper I might have stifled some of them.

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Three people are interviewing for a job. The first thinks his odds are 33.3 percent of landing the job. The second guy, so sure of himself, thinks his odds are 100 percent. The third guy,...

I always felt like I was meant to have been born in another era, another time.

I don’t know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower.

When I am working on a book or a story I write every morning as soon after first light as possible. There is no one to disturb you and it is cool or cold and...

Years ago, when I was about to go on a book tour for Someplace to Be Flying, my editor at the time Terri Windling and I sat down to figure out what to call what...

R means under 18 accompanied by an adult. Therefore all corporately funded films in the US must be made with the concept that those under the age of 18 are able to view the film....

You have a very open relationship with your fans.””Yes. We have an open relationship. Obviously they can see other authors if they want, and I can see other readers.

Yes! I just nailed an interview. I’m going to be a professional hammerer.

Who is better off? The one who writes to revel in the voluptuousness of the life that surrounds them? Or the one who writes to escape the tediousness of that which awaits them outside? Whose...

Some people have the innate ability to cheat artfully during dating, interview… Once they’re in, they completely change and become different that they leave you wonder whether you have ever met them before.

I had an interview once with some German journalist—some horrible, ugly woman. It was in the early days after the communists—maybe a week after—and she wore a yellow sweater that was kind of see-through. She...

Those who are rich cannot see reasons for poor becoming poorer and those who are poor cannot see reasons for rich getting richer.

I’d rather strive for the kind of interview where instead of me asking to introduce myself to society, society asks me to introduce myself to society.

And now I would like the ERA passed, please. Also, this lipstick is fuckin’ killer.

Inappropriate interview question #13: Can I call you Kitten Tits?

This is no time for drinking a mug of water – which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don’t drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on...

Like Sylvia Plath, Natalie Jeanne Champagne invites you so close to the pain and agony of her life of mental illness and addiction, which leaves you gasping from shock and laughing moments later: this is...

What is literature, and why do I try to write about it? I don’t know. Likewise, I don’t know why I go on living, most of the time. But this not knowing is precisely what...

People vote for whom they believe will be the best president and representative for our country. The First Lady is not on the ballot.

Everything has changed. An interview has become such a confrontational thing. It makes you very defensive.

I knew that my trauma, no matter what it was, was not unique. I knew that pain was the universal driving force of so many people—I knew that only in the details was it specific,...

I think people should take mythology much more seriously, because it tells us an awful lot about the history of the human race. We tend to dismiss it as ‘fairy tales,’ when it isn’t. Fairy...

… walk in the footprints of his ancestors. This land is a museum of man’s ancient history. The American has gone to the moon and found dust, he’s going farther away to look for other...

There is a point where, as a writer, you grow to hate your characters, their stupid motivations, and their whiny inner dialogues. The only solution I have found to deal with that is to kill...

poet”. Whereas I see poets in the wanderers I encounter, the baristas who serve me, and the truckers I, so, love to talk to.To be a poet in my humble opinion is to be a...

I never read to kill time. Killing time is like killing someone’s wife or a child. There is nothing more precious for me than time.

An interview has become such a confrontational thing. It makes you very defensive.