Reckoner Super Plan for Killing Regalia…Step One: find Regalia, then totally explode her. Lots and Lots.Step Two: put Val on decaf.Step Three: Mizzy gets a cookie.

Coffee, my delight of the morning; yoga, my delight of the noon. Then before nightfall, I run along the pleasant paths of the Jardin du Luxembourg. For when air cycles through the lungs, and the...

Morning, roomie.” His voice is like a shot of caffeine that ignites my body. How does he do that?

There has never been a ‘war on drugs’! In our history we can only see an ongoing conflict amongst various drug users – and producers. In ancient Mexico the use of alcohol was punishable by...

Oh, my god, he thought, realizing why he had always felt negatively towards Eden. She reminds me of my mother. The thought made his throat close up tight. He mused about the day’s events. What...

It’s the fine balance of caffeine and alcohol that bookends my days

You are so sweet. This is unbelievable. Some schmo talks to you every two weeks, buys you a meal, during which he talks about himself, dry-humps you, touches your hand once and you think he...

I don’t see the point in caffeine without coffee. Or coffee without caffeine, for that matter,” I informed him.

If coffee were like dreams, then I would be wired in constant bliss, never needing sleep to live out my dreams.

Oh, my god. My non-committal boyfriend, who I was just fucking this morning, that I want to spend the rest of my life with, is your Mr. Wonderful. He’s your ‘nice,’ mystery man. Jesus.

No! I’m not ready, this is still my first cup of coffee!

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has...

I have an addiction to caffeine.

Casting sarcasm ain’t easy.. It needs hard work and a big mug of cappuccino!

I can’t wake up at all without caffeine.

Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.

When you find yourself pushing through and using caffeine or sugar to keep going, this is the time to listen to your innate ultradian rhythm and take a rest.

Caffeine. The gateway drug.

New Rule: Gun-control people have to stop pressuring Starbucks to ban guns. I want my gun nuts overcaffeinated, twitchy, and accident-prone. That way, the problem will take care of itself. Plus, if just one gun...

Anger – a better alternative to caffeine.

By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for...

I just don’t understand why anyone would want to get their caffeine in a less-efficient form.