The English… are the most deplorable milksops. They are creatures of that miserable sort who loudly proclaim that torture is too good for their enemies and then give tea and cigarettes to the first wounded...

Simon: You’re in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are you’ll be under my knife again, often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly: No matter what you do or say...

It’s supposed to.

Going down in history is a dead end pursuit

So it was perfectly possible that there were men who liked shopping, men who understood exactly what it was all about, but Mma Ramotwe had yet to meet such a man. Maybe they existed elsewhere...

She nibbles her pencil… She’s human!

Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.

Somehow I’d still managed to go all retarded at the sight of some handsome asshole with a nice smile.

One piece of wisdom a writer quickly learns ~ typos keep you humble.

Marcia was silent a moment. Then a sort of softer gleam came into her angry eye.”Tell me some more about her,” she said.Adele clapped her hands.”Ah, that’s splendid,” she said. “You’re beginning to feel kinder....

The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.

This meeting’s done!I now see where he gets it from—you act just like your son!

As it ‘appens, I am Arthur’s right-hand man,” said Suzy. “Or left-hand girl, I can’t remember where I stood last time. Anyhow, me and Arthur is like two fingers of a gauntlet. Or at least...

My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!

Kindness suits you.””Really? I think I’m quite allergic to it.

I suddenly realise that it doesn’t matter how far I go, or how lost I am, or how lonely I feel. I fit in here. I always will.That’s how I know I’m home.

I grinned. “I’m anybody’s for a cuppa and a biscuit.

Analyse it; chance of getting succeed are always greater than failure

That you exist, is offense enough to arrest you.

I was not dressed crazily – I was dressed as a horse. And for a very logical and sane reason.

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist !

He was definitely taking his bodyguard duties seriously tonight. He gave off a take-one-step-closer-and-I-will-show-you-Armageddon vibe.

That’s odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant.””Well, the elephant started it.””That’s irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up.”-Admiral Breya Andreyasn & Sergeant...

Headline?” he asked.”‘Swing Set Needs Home,'” I said.”‘Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'” he said.”‘Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'” I said.

Age is only a number. Keep an active life.

As you can see, the hyphen is a nasty, tricky, evil little mark that gets its kicks igniting arguments in newsrooms and trying to make everyone in the English-speaking world look like an idiot –...

And I did it.

You know, take one letter out of his name and it spells ‘ damn’ as in ‘damn, that kid’s a worthless sonovabitch’.

There was a profound silence, abruptly broken by an enormously loud rumble from George’s stomach. Plaster didn’t actually fall from the ceiling, but it was close.

You seem to know a lot about it,” she said. “And you do subtleties.””Yeah. Like I’ve always wanted to destroy the Nine Worlds while committing suicide.””Well, there’s no need to be rude,” protested Sif.

Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.

When you’ve been around as long as me, Lucy, you’ll know that there are three types of sex… One – brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two – bedroom sex. Then number three – hallway sex, when you...

Correct the blunders on your face made through self-delusion – this would be far more fitting than to want to teach me, which is just as if a sow trying to teach Minerva.

Phileas Fogg, having shut the door of his house at half-past eleven, and having put his right foot before his left five hundred and seventy-five times, and his left foot before his right five hundred...

I’m not presuming. I know exactly what you think about me. You think I’m an anal-retentive Armrest Nazi . . . an arrogant Modelizer. You can’t stand the way I talk, any of the subjects...

Max?’ he asked.’Yeah?”…What are you doing?”Shooting people.

I don’t care how much you eat, Ender, self-cannibalism won’t get you out of this school.

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.

Mr Mowett,’ called Stephen in the pause while the table was clearing to make room for the pudding, and pudding-wine—in this case Frontignan and Canary—was handing about, ‘you were telling me about your publishers.’ ‘Yes,...

It’s hard to maintain a reputation for being grim and mysterious when you’re accompanied by a brightly clad young thing, skipping merrily along at your side, holding your hand, and smiling sweetly on one and...

He nodded toward the sub. “This is going to be a blow-off day.”I dragged my mind away from magical intrigue. After being homeschooled for most of my life, some parts of the “normal” school world...

If you have pain in your ass, it doesn’t mean you have done something wrong, but it’s probably because you’re wearing your little brother’s underwear.

can’t even face his marriage problems full on.

The Yankees’ Facebook page was hacked. The hacker was immediately purchased and signed to a 5 year contract with the Yankees.

I first heard of Parmenides’ best-known assertion, “Whatever is, is.” I laughed and blurted out, “And he’s famous?” With this verbal ejaculation I revealed myself as the quintessential sophomore.

With great power comes a great need to take a nap.

I decide to release myself the only way I can imagine: I pee my pants.

This is sooo cool. I love this place. This looks way better than a day spotting weird people at Walmart.

If you ever need to confirm that a girl is worth coming back from Hell for, show her your monster arm and see what she says.