Don Pedro – (…)’In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.’Benedick – The savage bull may, but if ever the sensible Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull’s horns and set them in my...

If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting ‘All gods are bastards!

Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.

One of these days, I would doubt the Gardeners a little too much and Zach was going to play handball with my head.

No,” I agreed. “The zombie apocalypse is still a few years off, right?” “That’s up to you to decide. Tell you what, we’ll do it for fun someday when you’re really bored.

Without discussing it with his mother, Anton went up to his teacher, Miss Katballe, and informed her that after seven years he was now quitting school. It was the best day of her life, she...

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I’m going to kill the guy.

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.

You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud

I think this goat must have been fed on old boots,’ Stubble complained as he chewed the last scraps of flesh from the bones littering his stew.

Shame comes in different doses.

Kalist likes to listen to the collective voices swell as more individuals in his colony arrive.

At first I assumed he was a Mexican, but slowly began to realise that a real Mexican probably wouldn’t be wearing a sombrero in a London nightclub. And he’d probably have a real moustache, not...

Who’s he seeing now then?””No idea. They’re like funfair goldfish; no point giving them names, they never last that long.

If asked which words one associated with the Sahara, only the most dedicated surrealist might be expected to offer “whale”.

You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this aspect of my personality.

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

I had a horrible feeling my leg was broken. If it wasn’t, it had a lot of explaining to do.

And as they drifter up their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to...

I’ve always been a monster,’ Scapegrace told her, ‘but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.”You smell terrible.”That’s the smell of evil.”It’s like rancid meat and bad eggs.”Evil,” Scapegrace insisted.

We,Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of the Chiefs of Sakuyu, Lord of Wanda and Tyrant of the Seas, Bachelor of the Arts of Oxford University, being in this the twenty-fourth year of our life, summoned...

Marry, don’t marry,’ Auntie Aya says as we unfold layers of dough to make an apple strudel. Just don’t have your babies unless it’s absolutely necessary.’How do I know if it’s necessary?’She stops and stares...

What if I got hit by lightning while walking with an umbrella? Ban umbrellas! Fight the menace of lightning!

To neglect ones own ability to laugh is the greatest form of Blasphemy, for to laugh is to pray.

Do you remember what we just did? Please tell me you remember what we just did.”She briefly toyed with the idea of lying and saying no, just to see the look on his face, but...

Upon my word, sir, your hope is a rather extraordinary one after my declaration. I do assure you that I am not one of those young ladies (if such young ladies there are) who are...

Are you done briefing the company yet?We, um… Haven’t gotten through the introductions yet.Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is the mercenary company “Tagon’s Toughs.”Company, this is the time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, who will have become...

I’ll go,” he said.”And that’s safer because?””I’m a guy.””Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?

To be fair, you still look pretty bad.

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

The shades of colours are splendid.

They all behaved as if they were absolutely disgusted by this, and amid the ribbing and hilarity that this elaborate performance of disgust and envy produced they were able to hide their true feelings of...

a great inventor needs a healthy amount of conceit. Mr. Bell and, fellow inventor, Mr. Edison would declare they’d created the moon and the tides between them if they could get away with the claim.

People talk about the joy of running–of the endorphins and reaching a Zen-like clarity of mind. This had never happened to me. Mostly, all I thought about when I ran was how much further I...

Umgangsformen sind Formen, die zunehmend umgangen werden.

If we had more reliable systems of law and governance perhaps our friendship would be shallower.

There had been a wonderful atmosphere of liberation and camaraderie. The Russians hated it.

Working hard is a fool’s anthem, getting others to work for you is the motto for every successful man.

You remind me of an old cat I once had. Whenever he killed a mouse he would bring it into the drawing-room and lay it affectionately at my feet. I would reject the corpse with...

She whispers in my ear: ‘”Tell me that you wan’ fuck me hard, make me sweat.” In the excitement, she misses out a word. “I want to fuck you so hard that your body drips...

Of all the things I expected to find in my lunch, a live snake wasn’t one of them.

Men are pigs, darling. I really have every sympathy for women that they actually have to choose one of these arrogant, stupid morons to settle down with and marry.

Impartially, shrewdly, I considered suicide, though not in my worst moments. The bottle of pills. The note: ‘No hard feelings, everyone, but I’ve thought about it and it’s just not on, is it? It’s nearly...

Stupid werewolf ninja sperm.

The man in 4B wondered if he could have your autograph. He told me his daughter is a huge fan.”Fan? What the hell? Dylan lifted himself up and looked over the back of his seat....

You have to make choices even when there is nothing to choose from.

Arguin’,” Carlos says matter-of-factly.

Where’s Kraven? Is he stalking me too?”His mouth went tight. “I’m not stalking you.

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

I had walked all over the fragile bloom of his heart like a Boadicea in Blahniks